Alright...as ordered by Ms T.......

6 things you probably don't know bout pek!!
1. i'm not very good at saying no...suckers for donations, tissue aunties, insurance agents etcetc
2. i totally and completely do not know how to react when someone crys......
3. watching movies alone aren't weird...its a time to smuggle in lots of food and stuff youself without people knowing.
4. friends to me are closer then family, but i suck at keeping contact with people.
5. i think love songs are sweet..........old school romance's are the best
6. i hate sunny side fried egg....but love every other way its cooked.....

there u go....hahaha!!!

haha

haha, originally uploaded by CAbure.

*hoot hoot hoot!!!*

from the bits and pieces i can find online, i think Chief Owl is saying: "hoothoot...hoooooothoothoot...hoothoot hoot hoothoot!!!!" hahaha!!! translation(Owls!! a new guest, ready to paaaaarteeeeeee!!!!) hahaha!!! i might be waywayway off..haha!!! thanks b!=]

Santa Swarm

wahahahaha!!!

today must have been the best 'best-est' day i've had since a longlong time..hahaha!!!!

-stuffing myself with sushi sashimi and tempura in the morning....with good company!
-catching Ip Man in the afternoon....with good company!(p.s. donnie yen looks like a skinnier version of CheahKokMing in the movie....better not piss CKM of le...*scare*)
-window shopping around orchard....with retardedly, funny company!!!....go figure!
-Jingle Jogo and Capoeira Carolling at SMU....with hyper-energetic company!!!! haha!!!
-then shisha-ing at arab street....with fantabulous and unique company...hahaha!!!

and now, standing in the dark living room after just checking my results...was stupid to even worry bout it, come to think of it now....hahahaha!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

*tired*.

some people in this world should just go kill themselves and spare the other better people around the agony of dealing with them. seriously, why waste and occupy the space, food, water and air on the planet when as it is, we already might be running out. go shoot yourself or jump in front of a bus or kiss the bloody mrt or drown yourself in your own bucket of waste or something. go do something worthwhile in your life, probably the only worthwhile thing in your whole freaking hypocritical existence, something like GET THE ******* *** OFF THIS PLANET!!!!!!

pheeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...................with that out of the way, today was a fantastic day. finally after all the politics and worries our club had to go through the pass 2 semesters, we were able to conclude our batizado(baptism) and troca de corda(changing of cord) ceremony...boy oh boy, was it fullingly and exciting, and YESSSSSSHHHH!!!! we are no longer 'creamies' seniors!!! but are now 'amarelas'...haha!!! and juniors, you are no longer cordless...but are now 'neon-greenies'...haha!!! well done peops!!=]

k...sleep time, 3 days of madness has left me seng, suan and sour everywhere(for those who dun speak this lingo, it just means i'm aching everywhere....hahaha!!!!!)

heard this sometimes ago on the radio, which i found really true.....

love,irregardless kind,
friends and friends,
parents and children,
brothers and sisters,
husband and wives,
lovers and partners,
and ever pets and owners,
all have a common denominator,
the wish that the other will always be well,
irregardless of the consequences on our own part.....

DSC07131, originally uploaded by CAbure.

The day we decided to all sit on the floor at Marina Square for a photo....nice to finally get everyone together at once...on the side note, christmas deco at Marina this year's one of the best i've ever seen,red,pink,purple,lavender.....not too loud but still christmassy nonetheless

=)

“Hope is the most exciting thing in life and if you honestly believe that love is out there, it will come. And even if it doesn't come straight away there is still that chance all through your life that it will.”

Eastcoast park on a beautiful saturday evening
you can travel far and wide, but sometimes, beauty is just within your grasp...most of the time it's just whether you realize it or not...and when you do, its then about whether you gonna do something about it or not. choices are our's to make, consequences are our's to bear, but better to act then to remain unknown.

DSC00063, originally uploaded by CAbure.

"If I never met you, I wouldn't have liked you.
if I didn't liked you, I wouldn't love you.
if I didn't love you, I wouldn't be missing you,
But i did, i do, and i will."

anonymous.

“Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.” Tina Turner

was pleasantly surprise to receive a message from my studiomate from the studio i was in while on exchange in sweden. and she has forwarded me this attachment...apparently, our designs during that exchange semester got featured...hahaha!!! wooooppppeeeeee, our first article appearance...haha!!! maybe thats the kind of difference in arch. education here and in scandinavia, they seem to appreciated the work and effort; sweat, bllod and tears students put into their projects and really embrace the wildest of all ideas even it its like fantastically concepture and practically impossible (unless with infinte budget)....but thats really an encouragement for students to be inspired in design. think they try to encourage students to learn to be inspired and think out of the box and be as creative as possible, and then with a wide creativity base, slowly reel them in with practicality.....better then killing their ability to thing creatively with all the practically immediately...no??....

anyway, i did tell myself then during exchange that i should really do hat i want and not be bobbed down by what other expect...since it does affect my CAP and its quite impossible to fail unless you're incredibly "gifted".....so i when curvy and organic-form crazy...and tadaaaaa......like Cook's Kunsthaus in Graz, Austria......except it is straddled across a major railway track and is cladded with wood, enveloping a steel frame warehouse which was listed as one of the 100 endangered site in the World Monument Fund. but definitely gonna be shot-down and buried six-feet under if i've attempted it over here....

anyhoooo....the Red Lobster is the project of the studiomate who sent me this, Alina, from germany and current taking a year out in Stockholms.

the actual URL: www.tunabyggen.se

My Boutique Toilet....look like its inspired for the form of a condom meh??.....sigh



Today was studio debrief...once again, the final mark that another semester has gone by. reflecting back, it seemed that this semester was the most restless and uninspiring out of the lot......not really sure whether its because of the 2 months internship that has readjusted my views to the real working world, or whether its because many are away this sem, and things around studio just ain't the same without them around. but all in all, i do feel that we DTM has the best tutors of all...at least they are somewhat constructive and clear on what to do...and thinking bout stuff now, i think i can say that i'm pretty happy with what was achieved and done this sem. though i clearly didn't feel that way when i was doing it, especially those few days before submission. oh welz......


after a little photoshop, WAAAALLLLAAA!!!! everyones there...hahahahaha!!!

oh, and BU is finally over....YEEEAAAAA!!!!!!! BU can go kiss my BUtt lo....think its really a BUnch of BUllshit that we got BUmped into BUrdening and it totally BUchered whatever remaining inspiration we had this sem. Who's in for some BU note BUrning and BUry ceremony??

DSC02285, originally uploaded by CAbure.

sigh.....wanted to sleep early, but failed for days...
wanted to wake up early, but also, failed for days...
and all this is because of to letters i've come to really really detest...
BU!!!!!!!!!

BU!!! makes me wannaswallowawholebottleofsleepingpillsandgodie;
BU!!! makes me wannasprinttothehighestfloorandjumptothetarmacbelow;
BU!!! makes eatingupabagfullofratpoisonlookverytempting
BU!!! makes jumpinginfrontof96whenitdrivesupthebusstoplookfun
BU!!! makes myolfabladelooklliketastym&ms
BU!!! makes me wannasomesaultoutthewindowduringtraining

seems to me like BU should not be named Total Building.........
maybe it should be Introduction to Creative Suicidal Tendency and Methods......sigh.....respectrespect to all who can take it lo....

think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts......
wooooooooooooshaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............

dunno bout you guys, but there are times i just feel like venting anger, or frustration, or just sheer boredom...
and bottled up emotions such as these aren't the most healthy thing to...well, bottle up...
whacking, punching,boxing, kicking, basically just inflicting destruction and chaos is a very tempting way to relieve such urges...
but, since we can't really resort to such violent in real life without getting into realbigbigasinwillcomeandbiteyouinthebackside trouble,
here's a good website to got do it.....have FUN!!!


http://www.funny-city.com/1725/
*just imagine your tutors face, or the face BU would hav if its a person...and whack away!!!

the reason for a sleepless saturday night though studio's over, and i've not started studying yet. never knew we could do totally nothing significant from 11pm to 7am...hahaha!!! wonders of technology....=]


ding ding ding.....we got an idea!!!

once again...caught sleeping on camera...


wats lloyd doing??


when we were stoning.....

Got Mug??


peace out=]


anyway, today on the way to PA for rehearsal, was listen to the Jack and Ray on Car-tunes with Jean , and it struck me how simple songs and tunes can evoke immensely unpredictable emotions. its stirs up memories long gone, of happy times, and of sad. it brings up faces of people you once met; faces of people you wish could be by you now; faces of people once in your life, but due to reasons known and unknown, have left you; faces of people who mattered; and faces of people you really miss.

at some point in life,
u often ask yourself who are those really important to you,
and you could never imagine life without them around.
and you question yourself on how you were able to survive before they appear in your life....

DDS South Asia

our office, our dining room, our bedroom, our entertainment room, our study etcetcetc

DDS South Asia, originally uploaded by CAbure.


Here's something interesting my dad forwarded me....very enlightening i must say...


The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be Here are some facts about the1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water..

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals

would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying . It's raining cats and dogs.

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway Hence the saying a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and! did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old..

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat..

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead p oisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground

and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a ..dead ringer..

家庭

'Family'....'Home'.....

Recently, these two words have been bugging me at the back of my numb and restless mind...
think its because i've never really gave much thought to it and they have always just been shaft aside for thing thats seemingly more important.

but why as they re-surface recently they decide to stay afloat and waddle about, unlike previously where they just kick to the surface, gulp down a deep breath and drown back into nothingness....is this part and parcel of growing old?? sigh...in someways, after giving them some thought, i seem to feel both discontented but fortunate at the same moment..issit even possible for such extremes to be present within one being....

anyway, heres what my uninspired cerebral mass though bout them:

'Family'....being away from home since 13, never was as close to my family as i had wish i could be. maybe also the inherited trait of passive social skills of my 2nd bro and i from both my parents. communication has always seem to be forceful and tiring...but looking at how comfortable and at ease siblings are around one another or how other parents and kids share, and joking and tease and talk always give me a slight pinch. never was i close to my bros. never did get the chance to go pass the ipunchyoubecauseyoupunchmebecausepunchyou stage with my 2nd bro...and my youngest bro...how much can u share with and hope to get advise from a 12 year old. with my parents, there always seemed to be the barrier of age and respect...we get along fine, but just not as at ease as it should i guess.... more over, i think my mates here know more bout me than my parents.... which took me into realizing how fortunate i'm to have found groups of friends in sch now and before which to me seemed to be more 'family' than my family. how easily it is to be around each other...and without knowing most of the time, how comforting it is to be in their presence. for this, i'm blessed beyond what i deserve, and in my opinion my gratitude can never be described as clearly and completely in words, ever...

as for 'Home'... a place where one seeks sanctuary, solace and restfulness. i'm surprisingly undeterred to admit that the place closest to the description of 'home' to me now is South Asia Digital Design Studio, Level 3 SDE 3, 4 Architecture Drive, S117566. if ask where i most prefer to spend a night now...i would say STUDIO without even so much so as blink. this is probably unfathomable to many, but in studio, i answer to no one but myself; in studio, work and sleep is just 4 shoeless steps away; in studio i'm not at the mercy or in debt to anyone; in studio, i'm at ease; and in studio.....i'm amongst 'family'. and i've everything here i need to survive....internet, tv, bed(though make-shift), shower, food close by....alls that missing is storage and laundry facilities...hahaha!!! i'm even more at home in studio than home itself(home being 5hrs plus away in Malaysia) again, maybe its the fact that i'm do not need to constantly seek to achieve a state of 'un-awkwardness' and ease...

sometimes, i conclude that it is just me, being me, but give the circumstances, i'm still not entirely sure how i've arrive at this state....all i know is, i'm fine with it but still in hopes of changes for the better....

thanks everyone for being yourself...

sigh....i better get back to work on the plan that Kelvin practically smashed with a wrecking ball earlier today.....

today the weirdest thing occured,

i lost 16+ hours of my life...
can't remember what happened or how it happen.

all i can recall is,
Saurday,
architour duty finish,
bought dinner home,
ate while watching tv,
watched a little more tv,
......
opened my eyes and it was 7pm Sunday evening!!!

in between is just blank....

IMG_1267, originally uploaded by CAbure.

Friends, what will we do without them......

thanks lloyd for such a wonderful pic. by far, still one of my favourites....

DSC05753, originally uploaded by CAbure.

we were high
So high that we could touch the sky....haha!

DSC06142, originally uploaded by CAbure.

day and night,
minutes of every hour,
never had i not felt the way i did,
since the day i penned my thought down for you.

DSC05875, originally uploaded by CAbure.

DSC05874, originally uploaded by CAbure.

DSC05872, originally uploaded by CAbure.

A good indication that u'r restless and really in need of sleep, is when u feel that the basewood pieces that u have been sticking for the past 6 hours would enjoy some form of conversation....

DSC05786, originally uploaded by CAbure.

an accidental stumble onto an encouraging note once given to me but forgotten.

"...when things are colourful in your life, you'll take more joy out of them. Art exist all around us, as does beauty.

Have you seen the freshness and vividness of our world after the rain? it parallels relationships. Things seem so much more enhanced after a storm...."

hmmm...for those who are wondering, this post has nothing to do with the photo. just that i like this photo. a pleasent surprise admist the usual amatueristic shots from my camera.

lallalllallallallalalalalallallalllallalllallalllallllllllallallla...........

dum dum dum didididi dumdum............

toto totototo tototo...........

when it hurts beyond what u've ever been hurt before,
sometime the question to ask is,
is it better to be hurt then to never have taken the risk at all??...

even if time doesn't heal completely,
seconds pass like minutes, minutes pass like hours and hours like days,
and even though sometimes scars remain,
but time will still heal,
leaving only remnence of the pain that will in turn serve as experiences to learn from in the future.

giggle when u're down,
smile when u're miserable,
and laugh when u're at rock-bottom.

so don't think about stuff beyond one's control,
thinking is about as much help as not thinking at all.
focus on what's at hand,
while looking forwards to the most immediate rewards for strength.

know that no one's ever alone out there,
though sometimes it may feel different.
over 6 billion souls out there,
we are all under the bright sun,
starring at the same starry sky,
and on the same rock oscillating around in space.

take comfort in those around,
know that they there for a reason,
hearts to care,
ears to listen,
hands for support,
and shoulders to lean on.

when we were young...

1, originally uploaded by CAbure.

2, originally uploaded by CAbure.

3, originally uploaded by CAbure.

4, originally uploaded by CAbure.

5, originally uploaded by CAbure.

6, originally uploaded by CAbure.

Hahahahaha!!!!! Back when in those days,

-when we still had 730-930 study times daily
-when we saw the same stupid faces day in day out
-when hallmasters were our Dad/Mom and halltutors were our Aunts/Uncles
-when breakfast was the best meal of the day
-when lunch was rice and 3 dish piles together to from 1 homogenous mush
-when the chicken at dinner was like rubber and would cataput off a plate faster than it could run when it was alive
-when the custard of the custard puff for supper could bounce from table to ceiling if thrown hard enough
-when a good supper equals the rebelious acts of fence-climbing and camera-dodging to get to Wah Gee across the road
-when birthdays were spent under a pile of human-sandwich or getting toothpaste smeared in places that toothpaste were never meant to be
-when fortnightly room-cleaning was just an excuse to squeeze 10+ people attacking one another with water balloons into a 3 cubicle toilet

and

-when girl-sightings came in the form of squeezing into the 6 bed-ed rooms spying on the MGS swim meet or track meet happening below

hahahahaha!!!! that was life of the boarder of Doraisamy Hall 1 where there are no rules, but one......if he(hallmaster) don't like, TEN dollars..hahahaha!! and ever a digital camera was a rarity then, we were already cam-whoring...hahahaha!!

Entities scattered by distance

jumble jumble, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

jumble, crumble, humble, tumble, fumble, mumble......hmmm....

our numbers are dwindling, and its making life really bland and colourless nowadays. i'm not the only one feeling as such...looking at the gang, everyone that're still here(the Remainders) seems to be feeling this effect in one way or another. restless, uninspired, troubled, even insomiac-ed.....

----

the other day while looking for company for lunch, we ended up with a grand totally offfff.....2...sigh...though it was jokingly brought out that that was in a sense the saddest case of lunch gathering we had....but i guess somehow or somewhere, sadly there is some truth from which the comment stemmed.

-----

yesterday, whether trying to gather the reminding gang for a farewell party, i only manage to come up with a number of 6, of which 3 couldn't make it, 1 said "ok, i guess", and 1 didn't reply. only 1 confirmed.

-----

well, it is really true that we only appreciated what we have when what we have are no longer around. Of those who remain, though we still gather and joke and tease and have fun, but amidst all this, i guess we still can't help missing you guys miles and miles away. Carefully, we have avoided talking about you guys. not that we have forgotten all of you all(how could we, as much as we don't talk about it, you all have be part of our lives for the pass 3 years), it just that we are afraid that it might open up sinking hearts and teary eyes. In some sense, our only solace and comfort is the laughters and the smiles we have when we're in the company of one another. and in our own ways, missing you all; rememebering all your the little quirks and weird habits; and recalling those personal experiences and feelings with you all, are only done when we are on our own. more frequently than ever.

-----

so to you all out there, know that all and every single one of you are sorely and dearly missed back here. and not a single moment of any day goes by without any one of us 'Remainders' thinking of any one of you out there. take care and experience the most out of your time miles and miles away.

and to the Remainders, though we are few in numbers, that doesn't really matter. what we have among us as well as between us and the gang scattered miles around the world is strong and will with stand time and overcome distance. take comfort in the company of one another, and know that you're not alone.

3:16 am, i'm suppose to be brainstorming and coming up with stuff for studio tomorrow(i mean thats why i'm in studio and not home......) but nothing seem to be coming up. to think that the past 2 days of R and R would have re-inspired me, but i'm coming to realize that, maybe it didn't.
-----
On friday, aft the 10hr plus bus ride the night before, the 3 consecutive dives and a-little-too-much drink after dinner, it was nice to just lay back on the rocker-chair at the beach looking up at the clear night sky. when everyones knocked out and in dreamland, one would think that the island would be dead quiet. but to my surprise, the constant rhythm of splashing of the waves agains the crudely constructed jetty, the whistling of the cooling sea breeze, plus the various cricks, squicks and hoots of coming from the jungle backdrop all came together like a well rehearsed symphony, something unexpected and, i must add, too darn rare in life today.
and being in the middle of no where when not a single souls awake was weirdly a very calming experience. plus the night sky was so clear, practically evey constellation was starring attentively down from up above, and the moon bathed eveything around in a such a soothing glow. it got me thinking, how nice it would be to just remain so forever, with no cares and no worries. guess its just the whole thought of running away from life that has been so unsettling now more-often-than-before, as well as home which doesn't at all feel like home because it just isn't. in a sense, it might be running away from people. most i'm glad, relieved and happy to alway be around, some i 'm blessed to have around and treasure beyond anything else, but unfortunately, a few seemed to be forced into my life, not wanting to be there, and certainly not wanted by me to be there. it is these few that makes life so unbearable, and these few that makes solitary so tempting sometimes.

-----

i was so prepared to sleep out there that night instead of the aircon room upstairs with the rest, but the flashes of lightning in the horizon was somewhat intimidating...haha!!
-----
oh well, i must say, though the past 3 days wasn't really a much needed time away, but nonetheless, the feeling of disregarding everything and anything in life for that few days just to do what i want, when i want and how i want was much refreshing.

anywayz. Happy Birthday Crosstina...hahahaha!!!

1, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to our dearest Aug-gies!!!hahaha!!!!

DSC04614, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.
The Singlish apeaking Asia trapped in an Ang-Moh's body...

DSC05329, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.
The Girl whose punches really do hurt...hahahahahahahaha!!!!!

ecprh17052008p049, originally uploaded by thwl.

1:09am.
Stuck in studio on the first week of sch...alone....

really missed being there........

reflections, relaxation, and rehydration

DSC05362, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

quiet alone time away from 'life' with all its complexity and complications for a short weekend...

Meet Fatty

DSC05345, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

adopted pet of my parents...hahaha....appears when there's food about or when there are people eating food about....disappears the rest of the time...hahahaha!!

even little and simple things matter,
it can change a whole day of 'downs',
and everything just a little brighter

bitter sweet goodbyes

Benita


Vanessa

Bye B, Bye V, you 2 will be dearly missed. have a great time over there and we'll see you in a few months time....take care and SMILE!!!!!.....

July the Twenty Eighth, five minutes to four in the morning.

i'm suppose to be in Rapid Eye Movement stage of the sleep cycle now as per what most normal homosapien are at this exact point in time in this exact side of the third rock from the sun. However, there are experience to reflected upon, and decisions to be made...

if ever theres a chance in life, i would choose to relive certain events of my past, alter some of my actions done and maybe prolong certain experience while cutting short other if possible. But it AIN'T so...i guess i have to make do and hope that what i live and do for today will serve to be a memory enriched and if possible destiny changed.

July The Twenty Eight, three minutes past four in the morning.

Starworld on cable just finished screen 'School of Life'...if ever the chance surfaces, please go catch this movie. Meaningful, heartwarming, hilarious and much-to-be-learnt-from.

Your Royal Highness!!!

n761030270_3237112_5991, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

Congratulation Peepok!! you've officially, formally, undeniably graduated and OLD...hahaha!!! and since you're the the first out of the HAC-kers enter the workforce, from now onwards, all future HAC outings, and gatherings shall be chauffeured and sponsored by you...wahahahahaha!!! thanks in advance=]

xoxo,
Drone No. 1.............
P.S. u lost Timmy!!! wahahaha!!!

Confused...
Indecisive...
Desperate...

of wishing and longing

DSC01267, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

maybe a locked box is lock because the one time it was opened, things didn't turn out well. things were lost, precious and priceless things. though don't be mistaken, it wishes and is trying to be opened again, to feel the confine space within it expand beyond the boundaries of infinite, to have its content shared and be share, all these seemed like nothing but wishful thinking as the haunting memory of the past remains locked within.

they say time heals, but not everything i say. some scars do remain.

anyway, today's is one of those day that i've always dreaded,spending a full day at home and not out with friends and treasured one doing the things i really love or want to do.

maybe thats what got me into this situation now when i suddenly have this feeling of being incomplete. it seems to me that nowadays i've been doing things that would have not necessary be in my nature, but as a result of being afraid to offend, or wanting to belong. to an extend, its not doing these things that's bugging me, but its despite doing this things, i still find my self constantly wishing for the better and still to the certain extend, being leftout. even though most of the time feelings as such only surface when my minds idle, but more frequent now than ever. even when i'm with people, and friends. the moments of seeing how they relate to one another so effortlessly, how the process of giving, receiving and sharing is done in such carefree manner, how couples obtain that unconditional love, all this causes a certain pinch inside. do i envy them. to be hornest...............yes.

only the other day, i was talking to a friend whom i was once very close to. i realised how i've been wishfully thinking that certain things are eternal, and forever. and it is comforting to hope that some things in life can be forever. therefore, i've sort of become a person that seem to hold on to things and memories. both bad and good. it seem that this memories are the reason of my desire to feel like i belong, and to a certain extent, has been holding me back for certain things i would like to do, and should have done or tried long ago.

oh welz......i'm hungry.....sigh

July Babies 3

t, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY my 'whatwhat' friend=]....hahaha!!!!!!(inside joke) anywayz, hope you had a great birthday, and may it be a start to a GREAT year ahead....heehhee.......WHAT WHAT WHAT!!! u win this time=]

July Babies 2

beat, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

yo yo check it out....can u feel the BEAT....hahahahaha!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday to the Birthday girl(center) of the Nua Gang......may u have a nua nua birthday and a nua nua year ahead=]....hahaha!!!

July Babies 1

[raggers] - 002, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

Luke 'Stilt'walker, a.k.a Lloyd Ng, a.k.a Starch Glue Brother, a.k.a. me Pai Kah Gang(PKG), a.k.a. Peanutbutter-Milo-grey sponge Buddy......hahaha!!!!!
Happy 'Model'icious Birthday=] .....hope your sexy legs remain sexy forever and ever....hahahaha!!!!! woooohoooooo to the PKG!!!!!!

_R8N9708.jpg-for-web, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

WOW WOW WOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW..................

June Boys!!

DSC04961, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

Happy Birthday toThe Tutor/Boss and The Archimate/O.G.mate/Colleague

ipodkitty, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.

taken off electro^plankton...humans hard the most diffcult animal to get along with!

Memories....

manage to head back to the breakwater at east coast today. Though i've returned to east coast numerous times in the past 4 years, i've never stepped back up onto that break water since that night of Dec 03. come to think of it, 4 and a half years is a long time, not sure why i've never went back since then....maybe i didn't dare....maybe i didn't care....maybe i've moved on, or maybe i didn't.....honestly, i still don't know. why did i go back today, somehow i just can't help thinking that it was more then the fact that everyone was late and i had time to kill....somehow........

memories came back a little at a time. memories of the same feeling of not belonging that let us to excuse ourself from the group; the long walk along the beach, with the foaming sea water washing over our feet and the wet graining sand shifting under us; the easy conversation as we shared, reflected and occasionally teased one another; the comfortable silence sitting on the breakwater staring out of sea, content with the company we gave to one another, and the sudden shriek which was accompanied by hilarious uncontrollable laughter as we realized that the breakwater was home to rat at night...........

as i was sitting there in the warmth of the afternoon with the salty sea breeze against my face, i did also realize today, questions that had not occur to me then. why was i there that day? i didn't know anyone within your group, i had no business whatsoever in going to the other side of singapore, and moreover, we weren't even admittingly in any relationship at all. Just friends....just acquaintances....did we already know we were onto something then? or was it just me, being a single hand trying to clap.

i guess right up to today, i still question myself on the decision she made and the unspoken agreement that we seeming accepted towards the end. unconsciously, i suppose all the 'why's and 'what if's of that, that-was-not-meant-to-be still haunts me today. secretly festering away deep within, influencing the decisions and actions that i have made, or have not dare to make since then. to a certain extent, it has made me who i am today...hmmmmmm....funny how such a brief experience so long ago can have such prolong after effects, how something as sacred and beautiful as that could be that torturous, unforgiving and painful and that faith could be such an bitch.

letting go has never been a skill that i have....and i guess that this is a scar i'll carry permanently. but dun get me wrong, i'm not complaining of anything here. just that maybe writing it down can provide some form of closure.

oh well, nonetheless, today was FANTASTIC..nothing beats blading with sun, sand, sea and great friends to share a day with. should really do this more often, but of course, we must work on moderation when it comes to dinner time...hahahahaha!!!!

William Parrish(Anthony Hopkins): It's hard to let go, isn't it?
Joe Black(Brad Pitt): Yes it is, Bill.
William Parrish: And that's life... what can I tell you.

Meet Joe Black,1998

manage to catch Meet Joe Black on HBO earlier this afternoon, and being a sucker for sentimental movies, i found it absolutely fantastic=]...it was comical yet enlightening, emotional but not to the mushy-extent, and within 3hrs, cover the common encounters of the common men from family to friends to enemies; parental love, unconditional love, love between siblings, love at first sight, true love and love of friendship....definitely one i would recommend all to see...=] some experienced, some not; some hopefully so, some never......

here's another favourite quote from the movie

William Parrish: Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.



please catch it if you can....=]

after hrs or panick and anxiety, constant moment of frustration, desparating and worries, and 2 sleepless night, finally............byebye......, originally uploaded by cloudberrie.