My Dive Trip...

Hee…..=]
the past 2 days have been fantastic…
the R & R weekend over in Malaysia was better than I expected…..
everything was excellent…..
and I couldn’t really have asked for more…=]

we did 5 dives all together throughout Sat. and Sun.
3 on Sat. and 2 this morning.
and what they said was true……
“each and every dive, will be better than your previous dive”=D

Dive 1:
Nothing much cause this was the first dive.
had to go thru all the 6 basic exercises as well as the 2 Emergency Ascends…..
didn’t go deep for this dive,
and everything was....sand sand, dead corals and more sand……
and it was like in black and white…
haha!!
however, we did manage to see a black-spotted yellow moray eel…..
boy was it cooooool……..hahaha!!!!
Dave (our diving instructor) managed to get it out of its cave….
so we were able to see the whole eel….
was like a metre and a half long I think…=]

Dive 2:
this was a little more fun….
when to the same depth as dive one (5m) at somewhere called Monkey Bay….
at least the corals seemed more alive this time round…..
and there were much more colours…hahaha!!!!
and lots of fishes….
I mean LOTS and LOTS of them…..
black, white, blue, yellow, silver etcetc…
all kind of funny colours…haha!!

Dive 3:
WE SAW A LOBSTER!!!!!!!!!
hahaha!!!
it was hiding under this coral and was like petrified of us….haha!!!
and man was it huge…
as in like ‘served-on-dinner-table’ kind of size….
but all moving and alive….
Dave was trying to catch it,
but it just shot straight through his hands……
I didn’t know that lobsters move that fast,
and as a matter of fact, swim backwards…
hahaha!!!!
oh yar, saw a giant clam too….
not those small little peanuts we eat,
but huge huge clam….=]

Dive 4:
I think this was the worse dive of the 5…..
was bloody early,
and I was like diving half awake…
was a miracle I didn’t bump into anything…haha!!!
anyway, my mask kept fogging up,
and has to clear it like tonnes of times….
to add to my frustration,
I was on the verge of pissing in my wetsuit….
as I didn’t had time to do it before hitting the water….
and for those who don’t know,
the wet suite traps a layer of water between skin and itself for insulation….
so if I piss in it…. I’ll practically be wrapping myself in my piss….
hahahaha!!!!!!
it funny now, but think bout the agony I was in…….
nothing new too….
same kinds of corals, same kind of fishes..=]
Dive 5:
last dive of the trip,
and best of the lot….
before this trip,
I though clown fishes were cute,
but now,
I know they are CUTE……
really………they look even cuter than Nemo in really life…
hahaha!!!
we also had this big silver batfish that followed us through out the dive..
curiosity on the part of the fish I guess=]
there were also these 3 gigantic hump-head parrot fishes swimming around….
and when I say gigantic, I mean gigantic….
each was like 2 metres in length…..
apart from these….
we also saw a blue-spotted ray,
as well as a few crown of thorns (coral killers)……

~satisfied, but missing it already~

The MOD Squad...

MOD Squad transforming stance=]
(clockwise: me, Paul, Miao Ling, Yang Fan, Royston
Xing Yun, Xin Jia, Aik Min and Tiffany)


MOD-box (Theme: Modernism)...
(row 1: Marshall, Royston, Jia Xin, Yang Fan
row2: Xing Yun, Miao Ling
row 3: Me, Paul, Aik Min, Tiffany.)

War of the World????

two more days to go…..
and I can’t wait anymore…hahaha!!!!
two more days out of this uncomfortable hell hole……
and for the past few days,
the uncomfortable situation at home has mutated from bad,
to complete nonsense
it’s starting to resemble a war zone more and more…
on one hand you got the unhappy employer (my aunt) arguing with the seemingly inefficient maid,
on the other,
you have the angry mother (my aunt) disciplining her two unreasonable, hellish kids….
sigh!!!!!
it’s just utterly chaotic…
take for example this morning…
woke up a little late,
(reason: was out watching Fantastic 4 and have supper till about 3am=D)
and the first thing I hear before I even open my eyes is,
my distress aunt screaming and yelling at my 2 cousins…
threats, accusations and pleads, where flying everywhere…
not that I blame my aunt at all for the chaos…
given the situation in which I’m in her shoes,
I guess I wouldn’t have been able to control myself this long…
would have exploded long long long time ago.
but however,
without a doubt in my mind,
those two little freaks deserve all the discipline they can get…
those rascals are just totally out of control,
totally beyond saving in my eyes.
they are so rude, unreasonable, demanding and irritating!!!!!
they’re as un-lovable as any kid can get…
even the word ‘kid’ might be an inappropriate connotation in this case…
I think ‘little monsters’ might be more applicable…….seriously!!
fortunately, they aren’t the only 5 years old and 12 years old I know,
cause if they were,
I swore I would have hated kids…
thank goodness NO…
cause I my opinion, children are children,
youthful, adorable, lovable, a little teeny-weeny bit unreasonable sometimes….
children are a blessing=]
but those 2…
never in the world would they be blessings….

sigh!!!!
good thing after tomorrow,
I’ve one whole week away from here…..YEEEEEEEEE HAR!!!
then another week of late night SCUBA lessons,
follow by a peaceful diving weekend a ‘sea’ away from here…. =]
and then,
just got to survive another few days before I can MOVE!!!!!!
yEa!!!!!!!

~desperately wanting to bypass the next 48hrs of my life~

Its quite true....haha!!!

Your Rising Sign is Pisces

Dreaming and introspective, you're often lost in your thoughts. Which is okay by you... you're inner world is pretty darn awesome. And while you are inwardly confident, sometimes you seem a bit unsure. People often handle you more delicately than they need to. You love luxury, and even if you're a bit broke, you want things to look "rich." Mysterious and demure, you keep secrets about yourself to remain an enigma.

What is Your Rising Sign?

From a Grand Senior...

today, i found out that i was not award the scholarship....
sigh!!!!!!!
although i have been hoping and hoping and hoping that they would give it to me,
but then,
upon hearing that they didn't,
surprisingly i wasn't really that shock...
maybe amidst all the hoping,
i knew somewhere at the back of my head,
that with 2 As, 2 Bs, and a B3
it wasn't possible...
sigh!!!!!!
and so now,
i've to launch myself full force into applying for all those darn loan.....
sigh!!!!!!

oh welz,
apart from that unsurprising but none the less 'happy-less' morning,
my afternoon was great.
went down training as a naggy grand senior..haha!!!
think i was like a irritating fly bugging Xin Yun for the whole training.
She's a J1, and since Ted ask me to watch her and remind her of her mistakes,
somehow or another,
i found myself following and helping her through out the whole training...
not that i've anything to complain about,
since i'm actually really glad about it and i enjoyed myselft...
just hope that she doesn't feel irritated with a grand senior always tagging beside her...
if so.......Sorry Xin Yun!!!!=]
anyway,
she is really trying her best i can see...
just that sometimes she *blur blur* a little,
but after explaining stuff to her,
she does change,
and she do ask questions
and not just *nodnod* but still do the mistake like most.
though must say, she looked a little stressed out during her lappings and sprintings,
but after that,
a little encouragement always brought out a 'Smile' from her.....
and seeing that from a grand junior,
what else can this naggy old grand senior ask for...haha=D
to Xin Yun: Lets go yar!!!!!!! just relax and focus.....U GO GURL!!!!!!!=D

~ surprisingly not that anxious anymore, but still hoping for more~

What happen when it rains???

todays training was delayed because of a freak shower....
some funny photos of the team hiding in the shed...
hahaha!!

Name: AC(I) Canoeist
Scientific Name: Homosapien Retardus
Species: Primate
Habitat: Tropical Rain-Forest, Normally around huge bodies of water
Frequency of Sightings: Numerous( 4 times a week..)
Country of Origin: Singapore

14 monkeys in a cage...

the intelligent one on the chair...

another intelligent one actually reading....ot pretending to read..haha=D

Incomplete(continued)

boy,
I think I’m addicted to cheese cakes and coffee….
for every single day in this week,
I’ve been spend like so mush time in the library café,
reading, drinking and indulging myself in their cakes….
hmmm…..
initially, it was just an excuse for me to leave house early,
and not to spend those uneasy silent moments at home with my uncle around…
but then, after the first time, the second time…..
I felt that in reality, that wasn’t the sole reason that I was doing these…
realized that I actually find it comforting…
somehow or another,
having a book at hand and sinking myself into those soft pushy couches at the café,
allows me to just completely envelope myself in my reading
and forget of all the loneliness, worries and anxiety in my life…
with a book, a slice of Oreo cheesecake or brownie, and a cool cup of blended coffee in front of me…..
my world suddenly becomes whole.
furthermore, with those slow soul music playing through my head phones…..
just for that moment in time,
there’s nothing more that I could ask for……
nothing at all….
but too bad these heavenly moments only last for that short 2 hours or 3….
and when times up…..
back to the crude and terrible reality….
a cold, loneliness and incomplete world…
where happiness only comes and goes in brief little pockets of time,
while gloomy clouds dominate everything else……
sigh!!!!

~still looking forward to nothing other then another library session....sigh!!!

`

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's the True You?

Incomplete

the whole of this week something is amiss…
felt a sort of ‘incomplete-ness’ more frequent than usual in this five days.
sigh!!!

it started of with training…
even now, when I’m down paddling,
there’s a void in me which was once filled,
a void which I’ve never felt before in all my competitive years in this sport.
can’t really put a finger on exactly what is wrong.
the only thing I know is that,
I no longer have the ‘I’m-the-fastest-boat-on-the-water’ feeling anymore.
though this might sound a little egoistic,
but it was really how I felt through out all these years.
during all the hundred training sessions that I’ve survived through
it’s a sense of pride and motivation for me as a kayaker/canoeist,
a pride of being among the top,
a pride for my own craft and event,
and my sole basic motivation to push beyond my limits during all those torturous trainings.
however, this feeling, this pride seems to be wavering recently…
though I’m still flying of the starting line,
still trying my best to lead, to enjoy the feeling of leading,
but then, somewhere up in this head of mine,
there’s the voice telling me to slow down.
a voice reminding me that it’s no longer about me,
I no longer have the luxury of being trained.
now it’s about them,
those boys, my juniors, grand-juniors.
I’m no longer the one to step into the ‘battlefield’,
but now it’s me responsibility to prepare them for ‘battle’,
and not to prepare myself…
and with that, I’ll have to slowdown,
and tail behind them to watch and train them.
although, I’m doing it, but I do not like it at all…
every single time I slow down for them to catch up so as to observe them,
I find myself slowing down more and more and more,
till a point where catching up for me is no longer possible.
for the pass 6 years,
I’ve come to be so bloody comfortable of being ahead always,
leading the pack with a clear unobstructed view of the horizon ahead,
chasing down more superior boats in my own,
taking T2s in my T1, hanging on to K2s in my K1,
until a point that now,
as long as another boat is in front,
I find myself losing everything I hold so dearly out on the water…
and not being able to get it back…sigh!!

~empty...so very very empty...~

A too normal week.

this week hadnt' been really an excellent week,
but then, it wasn't really a bad week either...

certain 'goods' and certain 'bads' occur...
guess this is what a normal week is like for normal people.

anyway, all of this weeks training were not as good,
mainly becaused i missed 3 session last week.
and the truth is,
missing 3 session practically kill all the fitness i've obtain for the past 2 months or so...
it felt shitty, really shitty...
everything was slow and heavy,
there was so much drag,
and i couldn't keep up with training...
oh well, who to blame but me, myself and i....
but must say, compared to Tues, Wed and Thurs,
today's training did felt a little better...
cheers cheers for that.

BUT,
for the second time this year,
i lost my library card and POSBank card again.....AHHHHH!!!!!!!!
F**K!!!!
need to pay another 10 bucks in total to get a replacement....
sigh!!

on the bright side,
i finally came around to sign-up for a basic open water scuba course...
something that i have always wanted to do,
but never got the time of money to.
whatever it is,
i've decided that i should do it now,
spend a portion of my pay to just get away for everything and relax before sch starts....
i can't wait...=]

apart from all this,
i can only add that i was at the 'wrong place at the wrong time' this week.
always assume that she'll be there,
but this only lead to disappointment.....sigh!!!!
and
still no new from OAM and MOE......sigh!!!!again...

~not happy, not sad, a little bored of life~

SmiLeeeeeee............=D

At your doorstep
large and square
a handful of drifted leaves
curl in the step’s corner
finding shelter

although I hesitate
an open door and simple mat
need no biding
to enter irrevocably, parched ---

you offer water
and your smile ---
I’ll drench in your miracle
abducted --- betrothed --- cherished.

Niceeeee..........
today, it came pleasently and unexpectedly,
making total 'smile count' up to 3=D
it really brightened up my whole day...=]
even classes tonight were a breeze after that...
haha!!!!

~More on the brighter side, but still a little worried~

Need to get away.

its a sunday....
and they are all back!!!!
my aunt and family came back 2 days earlier then i expected...
sigh!!!!! there goes my peace and quiet...

anyway,
she's back too...
i'm a little it happy for that,
maybe the spark of hope just go a teeny-weeny bit brighter..
but then so wat,
nothings change,
evrything is still the same...
haiz!!
and still i've not decided on what to do...
no one knows exactly whats happening in me......except myself.

think its time i give myself a break and get away from all this.
feel like going off diving for a weekend.
$450...spending amonths of my pay to escape from all these seems like a really good idea now.
hope being away clears my head.
got to stop worry bout scholarship,
and try to decdide on what to do on the other issue, or to just forget bout it.

~not happy, very worried,and need to get aways soon~

Where.........When.........

She wasn't there.........
sigh!!!

He seemed real happy today.....
why??

Just got a phone call from Yan Bin,
called to ask whether had i got a reply from NUS bout the ASEAN Scholarship....
got me all wrecked up and nervous now....
did i get it or did i not get it???
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
i can't stand waiting for practically everything in my life now no more!!!!!!!!

~a little disappointed and very very worried~

Love and friendship.

"We are each other,

angel with only one wing.

We can only fly,

by embracing one another."

friendship and love might be two things that seem interconnected and related,
but sometimes in life, they seem like two totally different things.
though some might say that the line between being just friends

and going a level higher is a fine one.
however when people arrive at ‘The Edge’,
it seems like a line with an infinite width.
it might be true that friendship happens out of love,
but does love require friendship??
sometimes friendship becomes a hindrance to love.

life is already extremely confusing,
but when this issue of love and friendship come into play…
life becomes beyond confusing.
consider these:

Case 1:
When one wants to bring friendship to the next level,
there is a risk that it might be one sided.
hence if carried out,
a precious friendship might be in jeopardy.
but on the flip side,
loving someone in silence without letting the other know
and not being loved back is e terrible and often unbearable experience.

Case 2:
In the game of love,
many say that it is fair play, where everyone has the chance.
in some ways, it’s like a competition,
where the best player wins.
but what if both ‘players’ in this game of love are originally friends??
friends trying the best to gain the heart of a same someone.
now, can is still be a fair game??
or because of their friendship,
one should give up love for the happiness of his friend??
if that’s the case, who should pull out??

Case 3:
is it necessary for a relationship to start out as friendship??
thus does it mean that those that don’t are doomed to fail?
but if friendship are really the foundation of relationships,
then what is the explaination between the troubles mentioned above??
won’t it be less confusing and in some cases less painful if…
friends are just friends,
and couples are just couples??

Sigh!!!!
being caught in one or more of these situations is indeed unfortunate.

~not as happy and still as confused~

Two Smiles...

Smiles were exchanged today...
two to be specific,
two though normal and common smiles,
and though you there, smiling back at me, didn't know,
but those two smiles meant quite a lot to me.
they were beautiful,
they were special,
and i couldn't stop smiling back at myself whenever i thought of them.
though i don't exactly know why,
but because of these two smiles,
I'm really really Happy...=]

not that miserably, but still confusingly...

Sigh!!!!!
Should I??? or should I not??
i really want to, but then what if things do not turn out the way i hope??....
not that there's anything happening at all right not,
and i'm not exactly happy with it..........
sigh!!!!
just looking at them two together......finally........
means that sweet things like that can actually happen,
and it makes me wanna just do it,
i mean if they can, why can't I??
but why the indecisiveness???? WHY WHY WHY!!!
sigh!!!!*sad*

~miserably and confusingly~

Am i Mature??

Managed to grab a few minute of chat time on MSN with Ching Chui on Sat. night.
been quite a while since I’ve seen or even heard from her,
but like all my other primary sch. mates,
miracles do happen to the undeserving,
just for info sake, Ching Chui ain’t my classmate at all,
in fact, she’s one year my senior back in Pei Hua Pri.
but she came over to Singapore together with me and Wei Phin.=]

was trying (not…..emphasis on ‘trying’…) to listen and give my view point and advise on a certain issue that she was facing right now,
and well, as usual,
I was trying my best to be more of a listening-ear then an advising-mouth,
anyway, she said I am really mature for my age……
and this got me thinking:
is that a compliment?? or just a nice way of saying you’re OLD!!..haha!!!
and am I really that mature??

the thing is, how do you tell whether a person is mature or not…
based on how he talks?? acts?? behaves??
but all this boils down to how he analyses and thinks in his head,
and to act what you think, doesn’t really occur that often.
I mean very single person puts on facades of different kinds in different situations,
and so, is being mature the ability to put on an appropriate façade in a given situation regardless of how you feel emotionally??
because this is was I think ‘being mature’ has become in our world.

As for myself,
I wouldn’t really consider myself as mature for my age…
(unless I take into account the ‘thirty-year-old face’ I have…haha!!)
I now for a fact, that there a certain things in my life that I can’t settle,
certain problems that I can’t solve,
and certain issues that I refuse to face and choose instead to ignore…

for example,
I’m glad dish out advices to help any friend that is in need,
and I’ll always try my best to help or comfort people I know or to lend a listening ear when ever needed.
However, I’ve come to realized that sometimes,
I tend to do this selectively and randomly.
on occasions I would spend time regardless of everything else to help a friend,
but sometimes I just chose to ignore,
and sink into the so called ‘Victim-Complex’ where I convince myself that I can’t help them even though I want to…
Furthermore, for the same issues and problems that I advice my friends on,
I, myself can carry out what I advise others to do when left in that particular situation which is some what similar.
in other words, I feel like a hypocrite, not being able to do what I advice of other??
A real good example would be in my social and academic life…
and thus, as such I feel that I’m not really that mature after all……

on the flip side,
I have also come to realize some characteristic and behavioral changes on my behalf.
towards the good side that is.
but are these signs of maturity or not, I’ve no idea.
for example,
last Sunday, Wei Yuan they all said they wanted to meet up for lunch and probably a movie after that,
but as my Big Uncle was in town, I told them I would not join them for lunch,
but would meet them after that if they’re doing anything else that is…
and so, they said they would confirm with me again of their plans after lunch.
but the confirmation NEVER CAME!!! I waited and waited and waited for the to reply to my countless messages but they never did,
until I was so worried that I had to call Wei Yuan up to ask.
and to my horror, they had already decided to watch the 3 o’clock movie (time then was 2:45 and I’ve already waited for 2 hours…)
at that point of time,
I wanted to get pissed.
deep down inside I was boiling with anger and just wanted to hurl verbal abuses across the line.
but then……
I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
though it was bloody uncomfortable to control myself,
I did.
but I didn’t want to, and however I tried to explode in anger,
it didn’t happen.
I really wanted to be angry and pissed of, but I couldn’t.
now this was something new to me,
I it got me quite shocked and worried.
the Pek Hong I knew would have been extremely uncontrollably angry.
and he would have at least vent his anger somehow or another over the line.
but then, I didn’t,
now, is this a result of being a little more mature??
I wished it was, but I’m not 100% convinced it is…

S.C.U.B.A.

today was another quality day spent with none other then…….ME!!!
Me, Myself and I…..=]

had lunch with Jesse at Kent Ridge after dropping off the Matriculation Form at NUS.
and it was a good thing that I did,
if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have found out that there are things that I still need to apply for before Semester starts…….
*phew*…..what a relief!!!!!

Anyway, highlight of the day came towards the later part of the afternoon.
I WENT SCUBA DIVING……in a three by three by four metre tank….hahaha!!!!!
was strolling around Suntec and coincidentally they were having some sort of Diving promotion with free try-outs….
and to think yesterday night I saw an ad. on the paper on a SCUBA course for $400++ I think…..
so immediately I jumped at the chance of trying that out right there on the spot…..
and man…..IT WAS FREAKING COOOOOOLLLLLL!!!!!!
minus the part where I had to be in a body suit right at the entrance of Suntec,
waiting to jump in a Toilet cubicle size tank of water…..
hahahaha!!!!!!!!
but then, the awkwardness of that was way compensated by the opportunity to try out diving=]…….
hahaha!!!!!!
took a dive with Mike, the on site instructor,
and learned some of the basics of SCUBA diving…
though it was only a 20-30 minute thingy a lifeless container tank (not including me and Mike, the instructor)
but it sure was worth my time……
the feeling of being able to stay underwater without worries was so freaking coooool!!!!
it was like total freedom…. (imagine it was in the sea instead of a tank)...hahaha!!!
maybe I’ve just found the right hobby to replace canoeing……
only problem is, it might have to steep a price tag for me to take on……..
think NUS has a diving club……….hmmmmm……
gonna check that out right now……
BYE!!!

A good start to a hopefully good week=]

this week has been quite a good week until now=]
one thing for sure, I truly enjoyed coaching this week……=]

Monday was my maiden coaching session at a primary sch.
and up till that day, the only primary sch. kid that I was in contact with was my ‘cousin from hell’
so just can imagine the intensive mental preparation and psyching up I need to do……
I was absolutely terrified, and was really prepared for the worse.
furthermore, after the smooth sailing at Xin Min Sec, and Maris Stella High,
it was a jump from the cliff into hell at Zhong Hua Secondary……
and to add to my misery, ‘Study Skills’ was the topic, not just a new topic for me, but also a bloody boring topic in my opinion….

However, to my pleasant surprised…
it was one of the best lesson ever……on the same league as Xin Min Sec.
not only did the kids enjoy themselves,
I think I enjoyed it more then them…..hahahahahahaha!!!!!!
some how it was so easy relating to them,
and bringing myself down to their level to communicate with them wasn’t as difficult as I imagine….=D
the kids were absolutely 100% captured by the lesson and its was laughter all the way through, from the start to the end…..
man….the sense of achievement after that lesson was terrific,
what a morale booster it was for me, and what appropriate timing too….
it’s the kind of sch that brings back the joy of coaching when I’m already given up hope of any improvements…..
hahahaha!!!!!
THANKZ Group 5 of Maha Bodhi Primary…=]

More over, the comments on my evaluation forms were the best ever……
what really touched me was that one of the kids actually passed me a note after the lesson,
and written on a nicely folded paper was just a simple line of:
‘YOU’RE THE FUNNIEST COACH EVA!!!’
to some, they might just say, “so what??”
but for me, I was really really touched.
that smile when she handed me that note told everything…..
and it was really a sincere and honest compliment without any hidden underlining meanings….
when she ask whether I would be continuing the lessons today, and found out that someone else was to stand in for me instead,
that was true disappointment in was voice and expression…..I felt so helpless at that time(“,)
what to do, I had to attend training today…..
but THANKZ A LOT Zi Hui!!!!!!!!=D

for kids that age, I would like to believe that they’re still saying what they actually feel,
and not re-package their thoughts and feelings into a manner that is hidden behind a false façade.
even now, I can’t stop myself from smiling when I’m writing this…..
every laughter and smile and happiness expressed during that lesson was really,
was from the heart, and none involve sarcasm what so ever.
nothing was fake,
nothing was done out of pretence
and everything said and done was meant what they meant…..=]

training yesterday afternoon went really really well……
maybe it was because of the ‘best-ever’ coaching session that morning,
haha!!!!
went down in Hath absolutely loved it….
was ahead and happy with everything I was doing…
there wasn’t no drag, nor was there any struggling for balance…..
everything was A-OK between me and Hath…..=]
perfecto!!!!

alright… time for me to hit the bed….
tomorrow’s AC-ing at East Spring Primary,
at 0715hr…..
and where’s East Spring Pri………
TAMPINES!!!!!!! takes like the other end of S’por….
have to wake up at 0500hr again……sigh!!!!
oh welz, got Yina to come along too…..
hope she’ll like it…..hahaha!!!!!!
Nites Yall!!!!!

YEEEEEE HAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
its finally here!!!
The Letter of Acceptance......yEa!!!!!!!!
hahahahaha!!!!!!
i'm in......
i got into Archi. =D
hahaha!!!!!
i'm like over the moon right now.....
hahaha!!!!

Time to change!!!!!

ok……
first blog in a week since I lost my wallet……
nope, it’s still not found,
and nope, I’m not feeling anymore desperate for it…..
but then,
habit of sticking my hand back into my pocket for it is still not gone….
and it’s actually quite funny….
every time I stick my hand in and find nothing,
for a moment I get a little anxious… then it hit me that I’ve lost it…
hahaha!!!!

anyway, this blog will once again be a ‘complaining’ one…..
and the topic of the day is…..
“How Chauvinistic Men Can Actually get……..”
this is what happen……

on wed, it was the follow up lesson on DISC Personality for Xin Min Secondary….
and needless to say, it went terrifically well,
and I’m really really happy for that….
THANKZ 4E5=]
okok….back to the point,
after the lesson, me, Coach Sean, Coach J and Coach Yuka piled into Coach Isaac’s car and left…..
and well, all of us other then Yuka were planning to go eat….
and so, we had to decide where to drop Yuka,
as in where was most convenient….
but then,
she couldn’t decide,
or actually, didn’t really wanna trouble us and just wanted to drop along the way we were going,
but then, Sean was like asking and asking and asking her where she wanted to go….
and there was actually tinge of hostility and frustration in his tone…..
come on lah, where the lady wants to go is her business,
why try so hard to pry into other people’s life…..
as I was sitting next to Yuka and beside Sean, I feel really ashame of Sean’s behavior and attitude…..
this is why we male are labeled Chauvinistic,
we look down on the fairer sex……
sigh!!!!
maybe I was to blame too….
I was torn between going for lunch with the rest,
and going off with Yuka like our normal routine……
so, I guess she was sort of indirectly pressured to follow us when I decided to get in the car…….
sigh!!!
would have been better if I just when off with her,
save everyone the embarrassment…….
I felt real bad….then…..
Sorry Yuka…..

I seriously feel that some of us men out there must start learning how to treat ladies with the proper respect they deserve…..
and not just the “whatever” kind of don’t care attitude……
TIME TO CHANGE GUYS!!!!!!

A good day turn nat so good....

I LOST MY WALLET!!!!
but the funny thing is…….

today started out quite ok…
decided to finally go change my stupid phone charger and its connection.
so headed down to orchard road to do it…
so as they took my phone to repair for 3 whole hrs,
I went wondering around aimlessly at orchard.

not really a good idea…..come to think of it now…..
just before collecting my phone back,
I went to toilet, and it was there that I left my wallet (at least that’s where I think)
and so……bye bye wallet and everything in it
(ie Bus Pass with bout $18 in it, Posbank Card, Library Card, half me last months pay...AHHHHHH!!!!!!, tonnes of receipts, and many many name cards....)

what’s so funny was….
I thinking a caught a glimpse of what growing up as done to me today….
I was neither panicked nor nervous when I realized my wallet was gone,
and anger never struck me at all when I couldn’t find it…
first thing that came into mind was….
Bus Pass, Library Card and Posbank Card,
the three most important items in my ‘byebye’ wallet.
and immediately I went and cancelled my Posbank card and attempted to get the lady at the counter to allow me to withdraw some money to go home…..
yes…I was stuck in orchard without money and Bus Pass.
but that’s wasn’t possible…
and so, next thing I did was called up Steph. to see if she was working that day and could lend me a few buck to go home….
but that wasn’t meant to be too….she was home…
and through out the whole time, I was surprisingly calm for a ‘virgin’ in losing wallets.
fortunately Steph. suggested asking her co-workers to lend be money…
and while she was calling her co-worker, I was already coming up with a back-up plan….
Plan B was give Coach Isaac a call,
that cab back to office,
borrow cash from Isaac to pay cab and go home…..
there wasn’t any panick what so ever…
and for that I’m pleasantly surprised….
maybe I did change quite a lot throughout the years….=]

anyway, a few people I really need to thanks,
thank you Steph. for helping out,
thanks Helen (Steph.’s co-worker) for lending me 2 bucks so cheerfully and willingly
if it ain’t for you guys, I’ll be camping at orchard road tonight…haha!!
thanks also to Stace. who volunteered her mom or herself to pay for a cab to her house or office without a thought,
the Cheerful customer service officer at the bank for ebing so helpful,
and the kind Aunty in black who offered to lend me money to take the bus to tuition…..
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU……..=D

and NO THANK big-fat-stuck-up no. 30 bus driver…..
hope you get your big fat arse stuck in the toilet bowl the next time you crap…….bleah!!!!

finally, HAPPY 45min before BIRTHDAY STEPH!!!!!

Thats what friends are for......

And I never thought I'd feel this way

And as far as I'm concerned

I'm glad I got the chance to say

That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away

Well then close your eyes and try

To feel the way we do today and then if you can remember

Keep smilin' keep shinin'

Knowing you can always count on me for sure

That's what friends are for

For good times and bad times

I'll be on your side forever more

That's what friends are for

Well you came and opened me

And now there's so much more I see

A so by the way I thank you

And then for the times when we're apart

Well then close your eyes and know

These words are coming from my heart

And then if you can remember

*Keep smilin' keep shinin'

Knowing you can always count on me for sure

That's what friends are for

In good times and bad times

I'll be on your side forever more

That's what friends are for

Dionne Warwick

woke up to a raining Sunday morning….
thought and actually hope to have a day of peace and quiet,
since it’s the best weather to cuddle up and just relax and read.
but then…someone somewhere seems to have different plans for me,
and I’m not exactly trill bout the whole thing.

firstly, as usually my aunt and her whole family is at home,
and I’m feeling the usual uneasiness when their all at home.

secondly, my other aunt is up to one of her i’m-try-to-be-cheerful kind of mood…
and it really ain’t helping the whole situation….
cause she really has a completely misplaced sense of and timing for humour…
plus with that short fuse of hers….
unpredictable swings of mood might and will occur…..sigh!!!!

thirdly, Mum was called today….
and well, apart from the usual asking of ‘how are you??” how’s everything??...” and stuff,
to my horror, I was informed that my second bro was once again up to no good….
apparently, he’s been playing truant from tuition lessons for the past month or more….
be running of to do who knows what with friends of his after being drop off at the tuition venue….
haiz!!!!! Mum wants me to talk to him……
but how?? how??
not that I never try, but I always get the silent treatment.
plus I’m not actually a person good at talking….
more of a listener……
but I can’t sit around and do nothing,
cause my Mum had tried, my Dad has tried,
but its just that he doesn’t listen….
crap!!!!!!!!
I feel so darn useless and hopeless now….
and to rub it in,
that idiotic mood-swimg aunt of mine is nagging and nagging and nagging….
nagging me to talk to my bro…..
f*** lah!!! not that I dun want to….
but I don’t know how to...and I’m trying to find a way to….
so get the freaking hell of my case b****….

crap!!! I gotta get out now…..
need some time alone without any of them……

Stupidity....

“Stupidity has no cure….”
a very familiar statement to those once in the ACJC Canoeing Team of 2004,
it was what Nic. used to describe some of the things we used to do…
though I do not completely agree to this statement of his…
the reason being,
we weren’t always on good terms,
(no one at fault, just a simple case of clashing personality)
but somehow or another,
today, I suddenly felt that there is actually some truth to this statement of his.

as for now,
I’m sitting here blogging while my left foot is stinging in pain…
not surprising given the fact that,
its missing a 10 cent sized piece of skin from the sole…
(got donated to The Pavement at Macritchie earlier today…)
but,
why then did this stupidity statement come into play??
well…..
THIS AIN”T THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!
in fact,
this is the 4th time I’ve donated a piece of my feet’s skin without the permission of my feet.
twice at SDBA, once at East Coast (a real OUCH!!) and today.
and all just because I was too over confident about running around bare footed,
and overestimated the thickness of my ‘elephant-hide’ soles……
I guess this was the stupidity Nic. was talking about…..
stupidity with a tinge of clumsiness…hahaha!!! ouch!!

anyway,
when down rowing at Macritchie this morning…
and for the first time, I clocked a half-marathon distance on the water….
23 laps in km all together…actually that’s 2 clicks over the half-marathon dis…
but the point is,
this was one of those things that I’ve never thought I had the tenacity and perseverance to carry out and complete…
but I did it today,
maybe because it an ego thing….
as in being a grand senior down training,
what they do, I must also be able to do,
and to be able to do even better.
or maybe,
it was because of the nice weather plus the calmness of Macrithchie that inspired me to keep rowing…..
or it could be that I’ve just not given myself the opportunity to achieve what I’m capable of…..
what ever reason it is,
I’m just really happy of what I was able to complete today…..=]

apart from rowing,
I transformed in to my couch-potato form once I got home….
slept and eat and watch tv…..=]
for those who love Hong Kong movies…
especially ones with action, love and basically a very good story-line…
I recommend the movie “Full Throttle”
starring Andy Lau and Gigi Leung…..
a movie about the struggles in life of a motorbike racing enthusiast….
and the obstacles he faced as well as the lessons he learnt…
truly a movie worth spending 2 hour of arse-numbing….
and a real nice movie if you have someone special to watch with too…=]

-Cheers-….ouch!!!!!....haha=D

I'm Thomas Tiw

From hence forth,
i shall be known as Thomas....=]
Coach Thomas.....
bye bye Coach Tiw...n HELLLLLLLOOOOOO Coach Thomas....
hahahaha!!!!

okok...
jokes aside,
i'm still Tiw,
just that now for my morning job with Synergy C. & C.
Boss Luke has decided that i'll sound more professional with an english name....
and so.....
Thomas it is,
his idea, not mine, but i'm quite ok with it....
so....Coach Thomas it shall be..=]

My Surname...

haha!!! my surname actually means something....
so for those out there wondering....
firstly its pronounced 'tee-o'...
not 'tii-u'....cause the latter in a vulgarity in cantonese....
secondly, here's what 'Tiw' is....

Tuesday:

Some of the Europeans believed in Tiw, god of war. His name was spelled several different ways. They believed that the god Tiw guided warriors who worshipped him. The god Tiw lived on a high mountain and whenever a warrior died in battle Tiw would come down to Earth with a group of beautiful women and take the dead warrior to paradise. To honor Tiw, the people named a day of the week after him. They named the day Tiwesdaeg, meaning Tuesday in English.

Wow!!!!
i'm name after the european god of war....
hahahaha!!!!!
and Tuesday actually belongs to me!!!!!!
hahaha!!

A sad case of a family........

sigh!!!!
I know this ain't a very good start to a blog post,
but then,
what else can I do if my surroundings are filled with everything and anything else other the joy, peacefulness and calmness.......

came back this morning and the place was in a mess....
the aircon units were down and being clean,
everything in the bed-rooms were in the living room,
and the kitchen cardboards were being emptied out to be re-organized...
might sound quite normal for some out there,
but to me,
none of these were normal...
I mean, it’s Labours Day for crying out loud,
a day for working people to rest and recuperate at home,
but NOOOOO……
they want burden themselves with additional house work just to get the day by…..
it’s fine by me,
but it just doesn’t make sense….

and now,
my cousins are being disciplined by my uncle,
and once again,
I’m feeling really irritated and uncomfortable…
there’s so much yelling and screaming and threatening going around this house hold that it’s really making me nuts!!!!
from screaming at them to get their freaking butts to the dining table,
to getting out the cane to pursued one to finish his meal and the other to stop being such a glutton and stop stuffing her already ‘fat-but-i-ain’t-gonna-admit-it’ body with food,
to getting them to tidy up their toys and take their nap…
everything that they are supposed to do but are none done will finally be forced to be done…
of course,
upon much lung-bursting screams, cane-threats, frantic dashes to hide, and tears of anger or fear.
what a sad case for a supposedly ‘happy family’…..
sigh!!!!

wasn't home last night...
was bunking up at Ashley's place with Buggy, Weir Yuan, Shi Weir and Zhen...
a really relieve for me to be away from my aunts family,
her ever so distant husband and those cousins from hell
who give the words 'spoilt-brat' and 'irritant' a whole new meaning....
it was good to just have a night of freedom,
around a bunch of friends,
even though we might had had no idea what to do together,
but it sure beats staying around at home.....=]

A day of surprises.......

Yesterday was Saturday,
The Saturday,
and yes, I did go for my aptitude test and the supposedly scheduled interview…..
why do I say supposedly??
well…..because it was
CANCELLED!!!!...haiz!!!
might sound like good new to some,
but I was really banking on it,
and I lugged like these whole lots of stuff (my A1 sized ‘O’ level project work book just to name one) there,
but it was all in vain……
they didn’t get a chance to see my works at all….
sigh!!!!
so now,
its all down to how well my aptitude test was, and how my results are compared to the rest…..
argh!!!!!
I can’t stand the waiting!!!!!!

and aparted from this surprise,
there were another 2 more….
one, Lionel was actually there too….
and it was surprising caused he had never mentioned about doing architecture…..
and the truth is he didn’t, but his mom signed him up for it..hahaha!!!!
but here’s the biggest surprise……
just before the test…..
there was this guy who was looking really familiar to me from a far….
and so, I decided to move in closer to have a better look,
and who would have known,
it was Wei Phin ( my primary sch. classmate who came with me to study in S’pore, but when to SAJC after sec. sch. and we’ve lost contact since then.)
and both of us was just as shocked….pleasantly I mean=]
thought the situation seemed a little weird initially,
probably because we have not met for such a long time,
but later, it was like back to the old days…..
had lunch together after the test and was reminiscing the good old days.
there was a friend there with him to…
think she’s his other half,
as she was there purposely to accompany him.
how did I know??
well, she wasn’t there for the archi. test,(she’s still in J2)
but stayed outside and waited for him….
but well, that’s not the main point….
the thing is, I’m just happy that we got to met…..

anyway,
lets talk bout the test….
first thing to be happy about was that it was nothing like the medicine ap. test
(i.e. write a essay to verify the statement that student nowadays are being to carried away by their academic pursuits that they neglect the personal characteristic development need in the field of medicine…….or something to that context)
boy, if it was an essay,
I would have walked out of the hall immediately……hahaha!!!
but well, luckily it wasn’t=]
it was on modeling, drawing and description.
first ques. asked us to make a model of something that represents one of the given themes (i.e. light, mass, contract……….)
second ques. was to draw the model in the context of the surroundings that we’ve designed it to be in,
and third was to provide a 30 word description on the model and drawing….
and……
it just happened that when I saw the 1st ques,
to tell the truth, I had now idea where to start and how to begin…..
but then, the only thing that came to mind then was ‘TRIANGLE’
and so,
I started making triangular pyramids out of the given paper,
and in the process, ideas begin developing,
and it just felt so natural and weird,

cause I didn’t really know what I was doing,
my hands were just cutting, folding pasting and cutting again. =]
but at the end,
I was pleasantly shocked and quite happy with my final model…
and I christened it ‘Inversion.’….
Basically, it was a structured based purely on triangles.
I think it fits in to the theme of contrast and light. had this futuristic expressionism feel to it.
and as I progress to ques 2,
I integrated it into the ecotecture stuff I was blogging about a few blogs back (tree growing right through a building)
and that was exactly what I did,
I had a tree growing out of it,
and pictured it in the setting of a tropically jungle,
surrounded by lust undisturbed greenery.
come to think of it,
sub-consciously I had already set a purposed for this building,
to be a rain-forest research center…….=]
finally, for ques 3,
all I could do was touch on the point that I wanted nature to be preserved as the main foundation of the buildings design.
but the 30 word limit was really too little to write anything specific.

I am horrified!!!!!!

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Sat. is coming up…..
test and interview…
stress stress…….
time to push the panick button…..
AHHHH!!!!!!

hahaha!!!!
just being an idiot…I’m not really that panicky,
but felt like doing that…hahaha!!

anyway,
today’s blog is about something that happened yesterday…
yesterday, we were at X Primary coaching a team of prefects-to-bes….
it was a really fun coaching session,
and there was another new coach…Coach E….
and guess what, he too was a fellow paddler…
Hwa Chong batch of 2002, when I was Sec. 3
a T2 rower to, just like I was then…
hmm…maybe we did compete with one another before….
hmmm……..
can’t remember liao….
BUT, this ain’t the main course of today’s blog…
what’s coming up is…

!! rated Explicit, so for those who feel a little uncomfortable now,
I suggest u stop here or, get really comfortable before u proceed….
you will need it…..

this was what happened to Me, Coach E and Coach H while we were changing into our company tee in the gents……
this kid came rushing into the toilet…..
say he’s like 8 or 9 years old, can’t be older then primary 3….
a puny little guy…maybe weighs around 30kg only…..
he gave us a very amusing look, and went into a cubicle apparently to do his business….
anyway,
subsequently, things started to get a little amusing….

Kid: “you all what level ah??”
Coach E: “(jokingly) Sec. 5”
Kid: “WAHHH!!!! why so stupid one!!!!!” (what nerves!!!!!)
Us: “……”
Kid: “you guys take steroids??”
Coach E: “(still jokingly) yup….you leh??”
Kid: “no wonder you all so big…..i take it too!! but very expensive….”
Coach E: “(getting really amused) I got lobang…very cheap, 10 dollars for 5 grams……..”
Kid: “WAAAHHHH!!!!!! tell me where leh…….”
Us: “…….. (trying not to burst out in laughter)…..”

here’s where the amusement stopped,
and what happen next was really really gross…..
so be warned….

Kid: “you all do sex??”
we were like….what the hell!!!!
Us: “……”
Kid: “you all masturbate??”
Us: “…..”
Kid: “I’m doing it right now!!!!!”

and take was it,
we couldn’t take it anymore,
so 3 of us hurried on with our changing and got the hell out of there……

What the heck!!!!!
I mean for his age…..I’m utterly shock, stunned, and speechless……
as well as horrified and disgusted!!!!!
and to think all this happen across a cubicle door……
Boy!!!!!!!

Same sports, same competition, but different feelings.

every single time the announcer announces the name of yet another price winner,
the bitter-sweet feeling inside me jolts up another notch…
and each time the winner went up to receive their medals,
most of me felt happier by the moment,
but a part of me felt more miserable by the second.
this was what I felt during the price presentation ceremony of the National Junior Canoeing Championships this afternoon.

the past 2 days were my first ever canoeing championships that I attended as an assistant canoeing coach,
and no longer a fellow paddlers,
or a fellow competitor.
its was really weird,
and kind of dis-heartening.
as somehow i no longer felt like i beyond.
being in a competition setting without the stress factor of competing,
without the anxious anticipation of a race,
without the adrenaline filled moment of pitting my skills against other paddlers.
for once, I wasn’t stressed out,
I was restless… and I felt really lost.

for the past years,
every single race, every single championship,
I have been amongst the very center of the action.
being a fellow competitor,
there was this sense of achievement in
being in this very special group of athletes of this very excusive and one-of-a-kind sport.
where commitment, determination and pure stubbornness had brought us to that level where we can finally come together in a race to find out the best of the best.
where by seer hard work and many other sacrifices could we be qualified to race with one another in the spirit of sportsmanship and out of respect.
it was my time when I’ve won the respect of others
and at the same time come to respect others in this arena.
and most of all,
the time where most of my true and real friendships have been forged and strengthen.
it was also my time when I had my share of the glory and pride by working my butt of to earn those now seemingly worthless medals and trophies,
as well as the fair share of humidity and lessons learnt from losing,
but gaining from these things which were more meaningful and useful in my sports
and in life.

however, this time round,
all I could do was observe from the side-line,
while helping my boys prepare for their time out there in the ‘battlefield’…
and helplessly watch as they went in to ‘battle’
some of them came out victorious,
while other came out barely surviving.
but hopefully all came out having learnt or realized something new.
but as for me…
each ‘battle’ brought for me ‘hunger pangs’
I longed to be down there racing and not just watching on land.
I really miss satisfaction of being in the lead,
trashing the living day-lights out of the rest,
or the confusing jumble of feelings when every boat is neck to neck,
and everyone was so focus where the tension could be felt all around even through the mass of flying arms and paddles, and the splashing and flinging of water.
its funny, but I also miss the challenge of being behind others,
eating all their bloody bacok wash,
needing to stuff all the frustration and self-pity aside and hang in there,
waiting and on the alert to make the passing move when they make the slightest of mistake.
and in the end,
with the finishing line behind us,
and between panting breaths, we extended words of encouragement and congrates to one another,
and even though some of us only knew the other for that brief few minutes of madness,
we all were link by the common passion for what we do,
and the knowledge that what we just did was beyond our best.......
none of these happened in this competition.

and during the prize presentation today,
though I was really happy for my boys as well as my ACJC jnrs,
(Congrates John, Jeremy, Jit Yew, Zhi Qiang, Weng Gnia, Brian, Bose, Lucas, Nadim, Ben, Wei Ling, Jia Jia, Liyanna and Margy=].)
but honestly speaking,
I felt sort of sad that I can no longer be a part of these ‘elites’.
I wonder whether thats how Mr. See. feels after very competition since the time he quitted to coach.
maybe that’s why he’s so quite, withdrawn and reserved during all these prize presentations.
I guess now I know why,
cause I was doing and feeling all these too today.

I had also begun toying with the idea of rejoining canoeing competitively in NUS.
but if so,
I ain’t going to be satisfied just being team NUS.
since I can come so close to making it into the Nat. team last year,
and it was just too bad that it was my freaking ‘A’ levels years,
and I didn’t consider their offer……
I can’t be satisfied just being a nobody paddlers anymore.
and furthermore,
seeing how they bond so well together there,
the urge to once again throw myself into this torturous sport and try to get into their team re-surfaced.
but,
is it really worth it??
why do I want it so much??
can I cope with the rest of my responsibilities??
these are some questions I have to provide myself with the answers truthfully first,
before i enter these areana again.

well, today was a very bad day,
other than the fact that i had a good rowing session in Macritche,
the rest of the day was just plain crappy,
so i shan't blog anymore......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!!!!=]

My 'Hand'...

today i finally received the letter from NUS....
and YEEEEEEEEESSS!!!!!!
i'm shortlisted for their interview and aplitude test....
Yeeeehaaa!!!!
1st hurdle down....=]

got Jess to help dig up some info about the test and stuff,
and his friend said that it would be good if i showcased my previous works...
and Jess specially indicated my 'Hand' project...
so i had to flip and search and ransack through my junk to retrieve these pictures
pictures of my 'Hand'..


the wrist section...

the actual palm

frontal view of installation...

full view from top right of my floating hand...=]

some statistical info about the 'Hand':
-it was my 'O' level art paper 1 project titled, To Achieve.
-hanging at a +-30 degree angle from the ceiling,
-it's approximately 5 metres in length, 2 metres at its widest, and weighs about 20kg.
-basic construction materials were:
air-con tubings, pvc pipes, plastex plastic, toilet roll cores, styrofoam, newpaper, paper mache, wall plaster, panty hoses, pebbles,fishing lines and a huge piece of scrap sponge.

Miracles i guess.......

some things in this world were never meant to be…
however, no one is able to predict the future of our world,
but occasionally,
things that were never meant to be,
might actually happen,
and bring a happy ending to an initially shocking and unbelievable beginning.

today, Kate and Leopold was shown on channel 5…
all I could say was and is,
it was the best ever movie about love I’ve ever watched,
and I’m glad that my curiosity lead me to want to watch it.
it’s a splendid and touching love story which is although somehow hard to picture happening in real life,
but it unexplainably tugs on a heart string deep inside.
touching, yet humorous…..
none of those stereotypical boring and ‘mushy’ love stories…. =]
it’s a typical story of impossible things happening,
a story of a miracle……
two people of entirely different background and upbringing and TIMEs
being forced into one another’s world unintentionally,
and what started out as hostility and suspicion…
manifested into a beautiful fairytale ending of happily ever after…
how much more beautiful can it get??
an unbelievable story at I want to believe in…
it’s the kind of thing that our degrading world needs….
the kind of miracle that make living in such a dreadful world reasonably less dreadful.
both were completed by the presence of the other in life...
one was everything the other wasn't,
thus Kate provided what Leopold didn't have,
and in turn, Leopold filled up the gaps in Kate's life...
together, they were whole,
and apart, they came to realised they would never be truly alive.

while watching it,
my ‘hyperactive’ brain cells were once again wondering of into the illusionary realms.
I was asking myself,
are these things actually possible??
(not the scientific aspect of time and space continuum,
and the possible presence of a crack in the fabric of time allowing people to leap into different centuries through it……
blah blah…blah blah……
though it’s a worthy realm of science to gove futher thoughts into….=])
what i was questioning was
the viability of the presence of love between complete strangers in such a short span of time??
I was, and still am wondering whether
is it truly possible to find someone that’s really complements us…
and if so, is it possible to achieve such a strong feeling for one another within days
o much so that it without him or her,
there’s no longer meaning in life, as portrayed in the movie......
it saddens me to be completely uncertain about the possibility of this issue.
well,
maybe it’s just that I’ve never really had much going on in my social life,
as in nothing going beyond the limitation of good friends…
and till now, life is just a daily routine carried out without much concern for the reasons for which I live,
but, how I wish I could confidently say that it could be true…
and to look forward to that day when it’s my time…..
it’s just that I can’t really see myself, privileged enough I might say,
to have such a miracle happening to me…

My Saturday morning dreams

end of the week again…..
once again today was Freaking-Early-Training-Day…..
dragged my body and those ‘detached’ limbs of mine out of their dreamy state,
and get my arse down to training…
but well, at least I achieved something=]
how many people are able to will themselves up at 5am on a Saturday morning to physically torture themselves,
and on top of that, to enjoy it….
haha!!!!

though as usual,
I kept telling myself that I could sleep more on the way to Kallang on the MRT while I was trying to brush my teeth and not my face,
but, it didn’t happen….
just couldn’t fall asleep anymore,
its like once my lump of brain cells up there wakes up,
they don’t go back to sleep until my butt hits the bed…haha!!!
well, today, the topic of my Nonsensical-Mind-Wandering on the train was on…
Architecture…..
(oh think I haven’t mention this yet…..just found out that I’m dumb enough to have paid the application fee for someone else’s application instead of mine…BAH!!!!! so now I’m late in my payment…….crap!!!!! hope it doesn’t affect my application….)
back to the point…..
thought a lot on what will I do or say if I’m to go for the interview…..
think I’ve set myself a quite specific area to work on already…..
I feel like now there is no true mother nature and architecture integration….
as in a true ‘symbiosis’ kind-of relationship,
where architecture is applied in the context of nature,
and not mother nature being forced to confine to the restrains of architecture.
been thinking…
until now there aren’t much landmarks or buildings that utilized the beauty of nature for a main focal point of their architecture…
I don’t argue that there are some,
but it isn’t common.
and most of the time,
they are just external fixtures used in a vague attempt to link nature to man-made,
organic to inorganic…..
what I’m talking about is,
having a rain-tree growing right in your living room;
allowing a stream to take its natural course right through your front hall;
having a second-floor bedroom on the out stretch branches of a sturdy tree,
linked conveniently to the main residential structure built right by its side;
or even having a house that’s hugs the slope of a hill side without terracing,
with outcrops of its original boulders as part and parcel of the furnishing components in your lounge.
where objects of the nature environment on which the structure is built on becomes a main part of its architecture,
and not just a side line decoration.
I don’t believe there’s anyone out there who does what I just mention (though I might be wrong)….
so that’s an area where I can be different.
and I’m sure I can be if I’m given the chance
(i.e. get into Uni to study architecture)…….

anyway,
I hate to say this,
but now, my 2 cousins here has official entered the league of the ‘A’ girl ( Tim, Stace and Khai should understand what I mean)
people in my world that’s disgust me has official increased from 1 to 3……..

A day of '1st's

“STARTS IN 10 SEC…………GO!!!!!!”
kick twist pull, kick twist pull, kick twist pull……...
as each big wave hit Seth front the back, causing her to rise up,
and to plunge bow first into the previous wave,
I was on top of the world…
this was the first set of triangle we did for training today,
and I was in my maiden partnership with Seth (our recently purchased new Hybrid kayak)…
what I felt, can only be described as poetry in motion,
with me and Seth co-playing the main character.
upon giving the “Go” command,
sub-consciously, my legs, hips, back and arms kicked in in a synchronized sequence of fluid motion,
and Seth and I were one,
riding each back wave,
cutting cleanly through the water ahead,
conquering the opening triangle of our training...=]
the feeling in Seth is indescribable.
from the start, after 10 or 20 strokes,
I was literally in awe, and was shocked by the feeling I was experiencing.
to my left, and right, all I could see is open water….
“where were the K2s??” I was asking myself ...(shouldn’t the K2s be leading the K1s??)
“where’s Jeremy, or Bose??”….
and then,
that initial surprise quickly metamorphosized into the all so familiar adrenaline rush,
fueling me to push on.
I wanted to stay ahead,
I wanted to pull away…..
and for the first 800m of that set, I was…
I had entered into the blissful world of solitude,
where Seth and I were the only 2 existing entities,
where all I could hear was…
the silent ‘plish’ of my Braca blade spearing the water,
catching hungrily as much forward catch as possible:
the subsequent ‘spish’ as it J-ed out,
holding on and hanging on to as much of the water as possible,
throwing up uniform arcs of water behind Seth….
and all I could feel is Seth surging as each pull started,
and her gliding as each pull ended.
with the salting wind in my face,
and the cooling water caressing my hand at each stroke,
it was paradise.
feelings that I had long thought was lost with the passing tides of Kallang came rushing back immediately.
feelings that I had yearn and long for each time I came down to row.
feelings that I had only experienced a few times in my 6 years of paddling.
I was beyond being only happy……=]

it wasn’t until I made the turn at the suspension bridge
was I shaken back into reality by the sound of the K2s close in pursuit behind.
and so, it was back to work.
I dropped back to a 65% long hard pull, and allowed the to catch up,
and finally, riding their back wash,
Seth obediently paced the K2 with me,
responding ever so loyally to each movement I made,
gliding past the finishing line,
ending the best set of triangle I’ve ever done.=]

today was a day of many ‘first’s and many ‘first-in-a-long-time’s
prepared my first ever neat Chemistry notes (Mass Spectrometry) for the night lesson in the morning;
had my first instant noodle of the month for lunch;
fell for my first ever stooooopid prank call for the past 4 years (James…….I’ll get you for that…haha!!!);
rowed for my first time in Seth;
and finally, one which I wouldn’t have mind not to have gone through,
stood in a Mr. See scolded the team ever so badly for the first time this year………sigh!!!

I knew they were pushing Mr. See to his limits,
and he was almost over the edge,
but I did not expect him to make his last desperate grab at safety before going over the edge today….
Mr. See was seriously seriously pissed off and disappointed today.
how serious,
well, serious enough for him to have use the F-word which I’ve only heard him dish out once before.
he was really really extremely disappointed with the T performance today.
some of his exacted words were:
“I’m sick of ACS boys….and coming from an ex-ACS boy, that’s how serious the situation is now!!!!!”;
“it’s like throwing pearls and pigs (i.e. those numbskull Ts), and see them trample all over it!!!!!”;
“……..so you can come down and f**k around is sit??”;
“…you spit on it (all the advice he gave), stepped on it, shit on it, and throw it back at me!!!!”.
haiz!!! must if have to come to this for them to wake up??
must they be so bloody freaking stubborn??
is it really that difficult to take an advice, remember it, and correct their technical mistakes??
it just causes me to boil inside seeing how they’re replying Mr. See’s dedication with utter disobedience, and complete defiance….
and it’s really dis-heartening to have to hear Mr. See being forced to threaten them to quit coaching all because of their attitude….
after knowing Mr. See for 6 years, to have me to say that,
it really hurts, though I know not as much as how much he’s hurting too…..
why in the name of heaven and hell must they resist all his efforts to help,
and to finally land their team in such a state…
can’t they see how fortunate they are to have a coach who shows such immeasurable commitment and dedication even to those who are unworthy of it….
please people…. WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haiz!!!
hope Mr. See is alright…

This is not a complain, but an odservation.....

advices are easy to find in this world,
good advice and bad advice,
but to many, more often than not,
those that are filtered into that clump of cells they call brain are BAD advice.
and good advices just flow pass like the common by breeze,
disappearing into oblivion…..sigh!!!
today at training,
I was trying and trying and trying to push so of those stubborn twerts to get out of their comfort zone….
but all I saw in some of them was self-pity….
from their face, from their actions, from their shuffling footsteps and tried eyes,
everything points toward self-pity…..sigh!!!
why can they find joy in the momentary pain they are feeling??
are they that blinded by their superficial agony that they can’t see the light that’s so reachable if they just stretch a little more???
well, if so many of their seniors and grand seniors and see these,
and surpass their personal limitations and succeed I dun see why they can’t…..
they have 2 arms, 2 legs, a body, a head n a brain (arguable)…..so did their seniors…..
and they a have better equipments then we did,
‘Olympic class’ equipments….but then, no Olympic class results……sigh!!
I’m still fighting their resistance to these necessities in training,
but,
I think Mr. See is almost over the edge now…
hope they buck up and stop causing him so much worry and anger…..
sigh!!

anyway, Xin Min Sec yesterday was the best ever lesson I had so far…..
the class was interactive yet cooperative...=]
everything was thumbs up yesterday=]
really looking forward to go back there to finish up on the 24th……
well, tomorrow’s Mayflower Sec…..
hope this happy streak of mine continues=]

Friends=]

Friendship is a special gift
given to us all.

The smile of a friend is sunlight on a cloudy day,
and every smile given to a friend is returned.

A friend is one whom you can talk to,
and listen to, without judging.

A friend doesn't ignore your faults but accepts them as part of you.

A friend is a shoulder to lean on when you need support,
A pat on the back when you do well,
and a sympathetic ear when you fail.

A friend is a person you can laugh with about everything,
you can cry with without shame,
and whom you trust completely.

A friend is a partner in life and
a part of you always and forever.

Friendships...

friends….
just like stars in the sky, always there but not always seen=]

I have come to realize that there is really a certain amount of truth in this vague quote…..
had been having a lot of old primary sch memories flooding my mind for the past few days…
all good and precious memories…
I’ve come to realize I’m such a fool to have not made the effort to stay in contact…
and now… I’m having trouble trying to remember everyone….=[
haiz!!!!
but I guess I’m just lucky that after all this years, I could still very fortunately get hold of myself and come to my senses that I must get back in touch with them…
its was my privilege to have know them and to have had a friendship between us,
and now, I’m undeservingly given a second chance to rekindle these friendships of ours….
I would be a fool not to wake up and make the best of this opportunity….
with all the years I’ve spent with them…
from having fun….
with our seasonal craze…
(e.g. top-spinning, stamp-collecting, or just pure naïve catching games)
to getting into trouble…
haha!! like the time we were caught plying with fire…
or the time we were trying to booby-trap the culprits sneaking into our class-rooms after sch…
(we tied strings across the doors to trip them, and laid thumb-tags on the floor..hahaha!!)
to sharing happy moments as well as sad moments together…..
we were more then friends or mere classmates…
some of us were as closed to being brothers n sisters as we could get…..
I’ve spent more years with this bunch of friends….
for most, even more then with those friends I currently have,
hahaha!!!!!
I’m so happy now….
fill to the brim with excitement of a reunion with my long-lost (at least I thought) brothers n sisters of mine…
yeeeeeeeeeepeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee=]

and so…
I’m not throwing myself back into the swirling pool of memories stashed away,
I’ve to try my best to remember everyone of them…
as of now…
I’m in contact with Joyce, Tiang Lim, Ker Li, and Sin Yee
though I’m only able to remember past the extent of name and pictures for Tiang and Joyce….
being chatting with Joyce=]
its ain't gonna be easy trying to push aside troubles of my current days to retrieve whatever I can from the past,
but its worth it….
I just know it…..=]

well,
tmr its Xin Min Sec…on the topic of D.I.S.C. personality…
from what I gather from Pei Jun,
4E is a class of terrors…so cross my fingers and hope its not my class…
but anyway,
I’ll have to prove to 1 and all (including yours truly) that I’m a good public speaker,
and that I can be understood…=]
Dynamism is the key tmr…
…..deep inside…..
I’m currently worried shit-less…ahhhhh!!!!!!!

apart from that….
today’s a happy day…

Cute!!!!

was at Great world city yesterday on another of my alone-movie-watching voyeur.....
walked by the petshop,
n juz couldn't resist taking a few shot of these cute little rodents....
always wanted a pet, but never got 1=]

a hairball??......hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

tis is even cuter=]....dun sprain your neck now=D
i like tis pic best......

sneaking behind an unsuspected victim....whose....err.....sleeping=]

Dunno wat to name tis post.....

tis morning was a start to a bad day...
went to coach Jin Tai Secondary….
topic today was “Double Intelligence”
IT WAS A VERY VERY DRY TOPIC!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
even I myself found it sleep-inducing,
so can’t really blame those sec 4s found dozing off…
as usual, I had a hard time bringing dynamism into e lesson.
haiz!!!!!!
moreover, tis is a series of 10 sessions,
which means I hav 9 more to slough thru….HELP!!!!!!

crap!!!!
why am I falling into the vicious cycle of self-pity…
nononononono….. tis can’t do,
wadeva it is….
I MUZN”T give up….. wat the heck!!!!!
so wat if the topics boring,
I’m in control of wat I present,
I ain’t gonna let a few boring slides get e better of me…
heck those slides……
WAKE UP TIW!!!!!!!........
i can do it…..
and I muz do it.
not 9 more sessions of hell, but 9 more sessions to prove to myself tt I can do it!!!!!!!!!
=]

anyway, aft Jin Tai, went ‘lunch-ing’ with Winny, Brandon n Sam…
n to my pleasant surprise as well as Winny’s,
we found out tt Brandon is actually a really really cheeking joker..hahaha!!!!
to think I initially felt tt he was the serious 1 out of the bunch,
man was I wrong..hahaha!!!!
throughout lunch, he was making joking out of everything n anything...hahahaha!!!
n he sure does a good impression of a “Typical Singaporean Aunty”…hahaha!!!
wat a joker…..=]

went to the library with Winny after lunch.
well….she had time to burn till her receptionist job starts,
and my afternoon Mayflower Secondary session got cancelled,
so both of us went slacking in the library..haha!!!!
actually…
she did most of the slacking,
she was like practically dozing of every other minute….
hahaha!!!!! Sleepy head……
me…..
I finish quite a few pages of my Paradise City (by Lorenzo Carcatterra)=]
hmmm…..come to think of it….
the last time I spent time alone with TaTou was all the way back in j1…
where we stayed back to study for the promos in the void deck…..
and were the last 2 to leave…
got chased out by the security uncle……..haha!!!!
then we took a walk all e way to the AC(I) bus-stop….
juz tagging along to tease me tts all.…hahaha!!!
oh welz, I guess we both felt tt being around someone, a fren, is better then being alone….
even if it means walking extra to take a bus like she did,
or staying to read in e library instead or knocking off at home…..
its never really feels rite to be alone always…..=]

tuition today was as terrible as last week……
tts all I hav to say bout it…..really depressing

Back to a busy life=]

my 1st retarded self portrait taken on my phone....=]
hmmm...think i better go get a hair cut tmr...hahaha!!!!

back to my busy busy working life….
been away in Malaysia since thurs nite…
for “ching ming”…(basically, pay-to-deseased-and-clean-their-gravefront day)
tis time around, when all the way back to Kelantan…the southern-most state of M’sia
havn’t been back there 4 3 whole years…..
it was really really fun, thought really tiring too=]
furthermore,
Dad, Mom Pek Siang n John all went back too…
think tis is like e first time our whole family traveled together since the terrible issue….
and everything seems almost back to normal….
almost….
can see tt Dad’s trying his very best to forget e terrible event….
and Mum, well….she her usual self lah…….
but I’m juz happy tt there’s improvement….
apart from tt,
there was juz tonnes n tonnes of relatives…..
all happy to finally hav a long due reunion…=]
it was a happy weekend..

got back tis morning by train…
though I would hav preferred to travel by bus,
reason being, the Transnational Business Class is really really comfortable,
and it’s much cheaper then taking the train,
but well,
majority wins I guess=]
my aunts thought tt traveling by bus is very dangerous since there’s a risk of the driver falling asleep…..
anyway, arrived tis morning,
then, finally I found time to go get my new phone…
and so….
Tada..(drum roll…..)
Sony Ericsson K700i…. yEa!!!! haha=D
been wanting it for a very very long time liao….
alrite!!!!!
so now…..I CAN RECEIVE CALLS…hahahahaha!!!!!!!

todays Juliets Birthday...
was planning to give her a surprise oversea call tis morning,
but then,
i couldn't get through..think i'm missing out on some extension....
haiz...
so,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

JULIET!!!!!!!!!!!

haha!!!!

A failure........

wat are with kids nowadays….
is life really tt harsh on them tt they become discourage and dis-hearten most of e time??
well…..today,
I felt tt I’ve failed terribly as a tutor….
today’s E. math tuition was terrible….
they were all so stoned…
plus Ethel was being extremely difficult today….
I was on the verge of flaring up, looking at how she was juz wasting time….
mine, the others and her own……
all full of complains and nothing else….
haiz….
can’t seem to get through to them….
was on the topic of coordinate geometry,
a topic I did with them 2 weeks ago, n today was juz a revision….
taught them again n again bout the procedures and methods of tackling the ques,
but they juz can’t seem to retain wat was taught….
most of e time, they juz stared at me as if I was speaking Martian or something….
sigh!!!! wat wrong????
is it the way I speak??
but I dun mumble, n I’m speaking like 60% of my normal speed….doing slow n steady
is it the way I teach??
but then I’ve repeated and repeated and repeated most of the methods in different approaches…..
is it because of their own mentality??
at least I think so….
everytime I give them a question,
their comments r normally,
“HAR!!!! (frown)”…. “crap”….. “so difficult”…….or juz *silence* and stare blankly at e paper……
mentality they are drowning in either ignorance or self-pity…
self-pity for most, but ignorance for Ethel……Bloody hell!!!!!!!!!
and I thought bring tit-bits into class to give them a treat would motivate them…..
give them something else to ‘distract’ them for dreading maths so much…..
but well….it was freaking useless…
haiz……..

went to watch e movie a series of unfortunate events b4 tuition today….
was giving myself a treat for working extremely hard last week=]
anyway,
all I can say was….
I sort of expected better….
thought it wasn’t as bad till e extend of me falling asleep,
but,
think it was only Good-To-Watch-On-VCD-but-Not-Worth-The-Big-Screen…
mayb it was because I was pathetic enuf to watch it by myself….
hmm……….

1 interesting fact tt i learned today....
the longest word of the english language currently is:
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
meaning 'a lung disease caused by inhalation of very fine silica dust'
cool!!!!!

A song tt touched me deep inside=]

My Valentine…
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

All of my lifeI have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldnt love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

La da da
Da da da da

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Cuz all i need
Is you, my valentine

You're all i need
My love, my valentine

By Martina McBride