Kiwi!

the lengths we should go to achieve our dreams.....=]

...Glenn’s nuts roasting on a open fire;
FD got a big big spare tyre;
The old frats are away;
So it us here to stay;
Jean and Rod wish you good day.
( Glenn and FD are gay)alternative last line...
Sung to the popular tune of The Christmas Song by Torme and Wells in 1946.


HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Well done to both Jean and Rod…
Bet everyone who heard that can resist smiling
(Maybe except Glenn and FD…)
And some where out there,
There are people bursting out in laughter garnering weird stares from the public…
Like me…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

~sick of BU but happy nonetheless~

Hmmmm……it think my dad just called me a loser…..

Quote
“From my 50 yrs experience, this is a considerate, hence positive attribute to have. BUT if excessive, or wrongly applied will make one a LOSER in life”

“…..then this is the case of yr considerate attribute creating losers all around.”
This is from his email…

Hahaha!!!!!!! Question is….Am I or Am I not???

What happened??

What wrong with mediacorp nowadays??
As in what’s with their programs.
The Finer Side?
Girls Out Loud?
Aren’t these programs a little degrading??
Even for the formal,
Though it show the richest and grandest stuff that RICH people here can afford,
Ain’t it jus a total Illusion of Grandeur??
I mean for the normal people like us,
It just seems SNOBBISH…
Showing us all the “atas” (Malay for up…high end) stuff.
We could see this as an encouragement to work harder…
But towards what? MATERIALISTIC SATISFACTION??
Oh pleeeaseeee….
And for the up coming Girls out Loud,
What’s the point of this show anyway?
To broadcast to the nation that Singaporean girls are
Rebellious, PUNK, bimbotic, materialistic??
Is that really something to take pride in?
Granted that it hasn’t started and my views are subjective to my boring self,
But the ads with comments like:
Girls your mom warned you to stay away from….(in the typical TV accent)
What the………………….!!!!!!

~bored of the exams, but happy~

the sad truth of our live...or lack of it...haha!!

and overdose od SEA architecture makes me CraNky......

hmmm....

thankz to our Archi singaporean angmoh(thomas)
i got stuck onto the short clips and MTV made by this group of 3 guys.....i i must say, they are FANTASITIC!!!!!!!
touching, heartwarming, true, down-to-earth, and funny......
catch their stuff at wongfuproductions.com
i guarantee you that you will no be disappointed.
anyway,"A Moment with You".....
is a complete movie made by 3 of them and base on their past works and the trailer....
its one to die for.....specially if you've already found your better half, or even if you haven't.
keep an eye out for it cause it ain't coming to to our TINY RED DOT of an island,
if any of yar can get hold of it.......pleaseeeeeeeeeeeetell me....
thankz=]

The reason.

27 long clicks…….4plus painful hours…. Finally it stuck me,
the reason why the experiences were so different.
Once I had someone/a few “someones” to hang on for….

There was Derek and Mr See….and Shaun, Zhiwei, Isaac, Jason and Jeremy

The formal I just got stuck with in a love hate relationship,
Hated when I had to wake him like ten thousand times in one training session,
Hated him when we move crappy though we were still ahead,
But only till we moved on did I realize tha I can’t lived, or actually carry on without him.

The latter, I respected, admired and totally trusted and looked up to.
Who saw me grow,
fat blur spoilt lartball to who I am now….
Coming to realize it, I actually spent as much time under his watchful eye as with my parents.
He is the reason why I am who I am today.

They were beyond friends and teammates.

Then there was Nic, Junwen, Gab, Tim and Anderson.
They were different, a little more on in the friend realm,
A little respect here and there,
More of proving be a sense of belonging.
But it was different.
Hence the less impactful experience and the harder struggle to hang in there.

They were teammates

Lastly, there was no one left.
Had to dig deep, real deep
And all I could do
Was to combined all the smiles of all the people I knew when I rowed.
Harder than before,
I rmbed going through a list as I dragged that god-forsaken rock filled bottled behind Cephas.
yina, winny, jas, steph, su, augggy terence, tim, shiwei, weiyuan, zhenghao, alex, lionel, andrea, maryanne, amy, grace, junwe, anderson, gab, nic, bill, kelvin, eugene, tim, stacey, khai, zhiwei, shaun, mr see, mr chin……….
Only by combining them was I able to hang on and finished the ‘race’.

They were more then just faces.

And once, I had being the best to hunger for in competition..

Now, after hanging on and finally hanging up my paddle
I see no more reason for me to ‘un-hang’ it and start again.
Though there’re still people to carry on for,
But they’re not enough a reason.(no offence meant)
And no competition to HUNGER for…..
So yar….. a fullstop must be drawn,
And the void left must be and will be filled by something else….
At least that is what I’ll keep dreaming on for.
Till that day,
I can only hope and pray.

Ps. Thank bill for lending me your Baby today, couple with the rotating seat, she looks and behave like a absolute beauty. Unfortunately, I’m not worthy of such beauty,

~still hoping and praying~

I noe….sigh, my blog’s stepping into yet another silent death…..
Poor thing to be a pek’s blog…..very short lifespan….
Hmmm dun even noe whether I could revive it anot….

Oh welz….they say that life is a ROLLER-COASTER!!!!
I say…WRONGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lifes like a bloody FREE-FALL ‘Yeeeeehaaaaaa’ from Space!!!!
[In case u are going ‘…errrr….meaning???’
Meaning: u jump of a plane(or in this case a space shuttle) and FALL…dumbdumb.....]
Roller-coaster is too mild a description…
Allow me to explain my FREE-FALL ‘Yeeeeehaaaaa’….is more like it…

1. when the hatch opens and u’re bout to JUMP(wat in the world are u think!!!!)
Excitement and anxiousness floods u…..
Like times in life where a new chapter starts
(e.g. new sch term, new project, new relationship??)

2. when u actually JUMP(man u’re FREAKING CRAZY!!!!) into space
u start thinking and beating yourself inside out for doing something so stupid….
(This feeling is probably also induce by the fact u’re in the thermosphere with no OXYGEN…u MORON!!!!!....)
For pulling yourself into carry such an un-enjoyable burden
If u can actually ooze…..u’ll be oozing anger and frustration…
Like times in life when u’re in the new chapter
(e.g. during a project, assignment….)

3. when your slightest ray of hope slips away,
Your lungs burning, your eyes popping (y??? LACK OF OXYGEN duhhhh…..)
Thermosphere falls behind,
Mesosphere passes u,
Stratosphere approaches
And u feel like its better someone just SHOOTs u in your head
(e.g. commonly towards the end of your project)

4. the u suddenly enter the troposphere light loom at u,
Your lungs suddenly balloons with AIR
As u take in gulps of fresh air,
U think u might actually survive…..
Everything is okay once again
The sky is blue,
Fluffy clouds float by,
Joy and hope creeps back in
(e.g. when a friends comforts and encourages u)

5.as sudden as hope comes back,
It flashes past again and the truth that u’ll nvr suvive from such a fall looms over u
(DUHHHHH………….u think u superman issit?)
Everything becomes gray again,
Hopelessness, loneliness, sadness
Sweep by u….
(e.g. friend goes away, back into the hellhole u fall)

Finally

6. mother earth comes at u face on at a fastest speed u could imagine,
And SLAM….its is all over…..
(e.g a blow out, a failed crit, a F grade, a friendship lost, a relationship broken)

BE WARNED, the following contains violence and gory graphical description. Readers with a weak stomach or heart, kindly please skip the italic paragraph…
(your skull implodes with the impact crushing and blending your brains into a big puddle of mush; your spine, and limbs crumble like matchstick, tearing through skin like tissue; and while your heart implodes with the sudden force of blood, the rest of you explode like a waterballoon-ground impact, splattering your remains is a gory, bloody radius of human guts…..)


Alternatively (there’s always a happy ending…come on….life’s not that sad…)

U find the parachute release cord (wat can I say….u’re a genius not to have known there was one)
u pull……
and it doesn’t open…AHHHHH!!!!!!!!.....
hahaha!!! joking!!!! hahahaha!!!
It OPENS,
Wind rushes into it,
The sudden jerk is followed by a smooth sailing back to terra firma ending with a soft bump of a landing…..u gather your chute,
Reflect back on the journey,
Pat yourself on your back, and once again u’re ready to face the next chapter head on….

Glad to be in the latter and not former.

~not sure~

I wanna work with animals…..
Those good old days in the zoo…..
Its always more predictable with them……
you give them care and concern,
they respond back the same way and more…..

can’t say the same for us homosapiens…
there’s always that front we put up when we work as a group,
and you always have to consider how they feel…
if not……you’re bossy, you’re unreasonable, you’re demanding….
Can’t they just freaking understand that if u dun push,
You’ll always be swimming in mediocrity….
It you dun care, and dun bother to open your golden gap and ask,
You’ll never know, or you’ll never learn…..
Or are you already satisfied with what pathetic achievements you’ve brainwash yourself into thinking you’ve achieved??
Once again…u’re better of sleeping with the fishes….

On the flip side…..
If you constantly consider the welfare of others,
Its their natural to climb all over you….
Nothing gets done…
Everythings hanging….
Progression rate is zip…..

Worse still if they’re friends….
You try to chance….
To push….
SNAP!!!!!
Gone is that tread that bind the friendship….
Whether with you knowing it or not…..
Best-case scenario,
The tread will still wear down…..

Sigh!!!!!

Do people enjoy being blur???.....ignorant is bliss??.....what I dunno wun hurt me??
CRAP!!! BULLSHIT!!! Utter NONSENCE!!!!
If you rather be that,
I say, go DROWN yourself…
Dun waste the space your behind is occupy, and the air you’re breathing
And….
saves everyone the agony of babysitting you…
you think its cool?.....or cute???...........
stop kidding yourself!!!!!
you’re better of DEAD!!!
Correction….you’re better of DEAD.

~PISSED OFF~

Other halves??

hmm....Ques: How do u choose the one that completes you??
meaning....what do people actually look for when they're in search of their soul-mate...
in my opinion(the opinion of a quiet boring guy)
i guess she has to be able to communicate well with me.....
(ie:TALKATIVE!!!!....) haha=D
Why so? well for a person like me who has a lazy bum of a mouth,
i'm not really good at carrying out conversations..
so.....gotta find someone who fills up my imperfections right??
thus...she has to do the talking...hahaha=]
Look?? if you're wondering,
well, i stick to the first impression only clouds 55% of our judgement theory...
i've actually found out the look IN THE END doesn't actually matter...
yes i agree that if he/she looks good,
they tend to hit better on our mental scoreboard,
but if it ain't the right one,
no matter if he/she is Mr/Mrs Universe,
IT WON'T WORK!!!!
actually i think if its the correct one,
his or her look would actually grow on you....
not that you'll start looking like her/him, and grow/shrink in places i'm not gonna mention,
but if in love,
your other half should look better and better in your eyes as time goes by,
though the effects of time my cause the a migration towards the south,
or the gradual movement at the mid-drift
where everything suddenly decides that "united" is better then "divided"
or the formation of micro valleys and canyon on our biggest organ,
these should only add beauty in your eye.
oh well........words of an inexperience fool.

~uncomfortable~

SIGH!!!!

think my body's trying to tell me something.....
everywhere's aching....specially my back....
CRAP!!!!!!!!!
i can't get sick now....not now....

~terrible~

Phobias

Hmmm......its a Sat.
alone in studio....sigh!!
just got another cut added into the RAG-injuries collection on me earlier this morning.
self-inflicted pain of a self-made klutz.

i guess its the fact that i'm suppose to be doing something,
and that people on my side aren't here with me that i'm feeling kind of down.
oh well......

anyway, while i was "Stumbling"(its a internet surfing add on to Firefox that display random website when i'm bored and click it)...
i came around something that i guess describes me...
or actually, the undesirable situations that i'm so used to getting myself in....
i found out that i'm Social Phobic...
in other words, i'm suffering from Social Phobia....
which basically means the fear of negative criticism...
more specifically, evaluated negatively in a social situation.

it has always been how i'm seen in the eyes of other,
am i on his/her good side??
is he/she liking me??
is he/she pissed with me??
if i do this, will he/she be mentally whooping my arse??(not in a sexual way mind you....)
and hence, these always lead to decisions or responsibilities on my part which i would have never, and will most definately not enjoy...
just to "be of a convenience" on the other party's part....
sigh.......one good example,
WHAT I AM IN NOW!!!.....(go figure...)
another,
WHAT I WAS IN DURING THE SEMESTER!!!!....(go figure more...)
and there many more in my 20 years of life.......
and its all the same,
done in the pursuit of being a well-liked man.

some simple examples,

whenever someone walks up to be asking for donations,
the automatic response on my part is to take out my anorexic wallet,
and donate something...
never had i felt comfortable saying "NO THANKS" and walking away...
and sometimes, this comes as an expense of my food-money in the not too distant future....
and i felt like i could have been strong enough to had given them the:
"speak to my hand....causemyhandwillbetheonereachingintomyanorexicwalletforthevitamin Myou'reaskingmefor...
and...
myhandain'tnotsmartenoughtobethinkingaboutthewellbeingofhisothercounterpartslikemybrainis....
so....SPEAK TO MY HAND!!!!"

here's another,

when i'm on a crowded bus,
i get a seat next to someone else....
and like the social-zone respecting man i am,
my butt would be performing the "Cliff-hanger" on the edge of the seat
in order not to invade the private social zone of the stranger beside me....
well,
as the journey continues,
seats around starts catching their breaths as they are relieved of the weight of other arses,
and when a side-by-side seat comes into availability for me to comfortably suffocate them with my bum,
the thought that plays in my numbskull of a head is:
"will the person beside me feel that somethings wrong with him/her if i evacuate to the other seat??"
"will my action cast a beam of self-doubt over the person i'm currently sitting beside?"
"will there be a sense of unknown rejection?"
and more often than not,
i'll end up perching half my bottom on half of the seat beside the person i was sitting beside
the entire butt-sore of a journey,
leaving the side-by-side free seats in there temporary bliss of "fresh-butt-less" air
or to be suffocated by another fellow passengers big behind...

now,
would a person in the right mind be thinking of all these before doing something?
anyone.....please enlighten me.....

oh well...
here are some other phobias that i can or simply can't understand...

Cibophobia: fear of food and eating....in pek's opinion: GO KILL YOURSELF AND NOT WASTE BREATHING IN OUR AIR YOU ANOREXIC IDIOT!!!!

Coulrophobia: fear of clowns...pek says: to all clowns....GO JUMP OF A BUILDING WILL YOU!!!

Philophobia: fear of being in love...pek thinks: why? why? WHY????

Lachanophobia: fear of vegetables...pek feel: all that grows from the ground should be only ate after being BOILED IN OIL!!!!!.....

~signing off not feeling that great at all~

Architect to be.....

4am on a monday morning....
had a tiring day yesterday, got trick down to row...hahahaha!!!!
oh well, didn't turn out that bad.

anyway,
Question: How do you now you're an architecture student??or actually, how did i realise i was one.....
begineer level:
1, always have an extra set of cloths in my gigantic crumpler...=]
2, not feeling sleepy when the sky is charcoal black.....(like now)
3, turning on 'zombie' mode when the sun is up....

intermediate level:
1, always have my shampoo, shower foam, toothbrush and toothpaste when i come to sch....
2, the disappearance of breakfast, lunch and dinner.........and in their place, just MEALTIME.
3, getting really at ease in studio.
4, totally ignorant about the weather outside...(windowless studio)

advance level:
1, addition of shaver and shaving foam in my toiletries....
2, able to sleep anywhere in studio, on any thing, in any position....(sounds weird...hmmmm...)
3, getting more at ease in studio than at home...
4, bring along more than 1 set of cloths and of course.......inner ones too(just to be clear)
5, having more then 1 kind of footwear in studio
6, coming to studio even when there's no work..............(just to shamelessly tap on the wireless...hahaha)

and....*drum roll.........*

the shen(god) level:
1, the final addition of a nail cutter....hahaha=D
2, DIY bed of sleepingbag over grey sponge on drafting table....comfy comfy...ahhhhhhh.....
3, total elimitation for the need of foot wear....going "hobbit" everywhere even into workshop, behind workshop, foyer...etcetc...
4, being only able to sleep peacefully in studio...............

hahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahaha!!!!!!!!.................

~cranky~

My current 'Life'......

its 1:27am....
think i'm the only person in the whole freaking faculty now...hahaha!!!!
what a proud "achievement"....

situation:
blacken hands,
dirty nails,
cut,on one finger,
bruise on the other palm,
scratched on both wrist,
and sore everywhere.......
still tying those rattan(can't let anyone other than Shi Jie do it, if not have to keep redoing)
at least i have internet.....phew....
other then all this.....I WILL SURVIVE...hahaha!!!!

think it has been a good day??
maybe.....actually....so-so......
man i'm cranky now...hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~still a little confuse, but happier~

Those Days

today is one of those days.
didn't manage to sleep much yesterday night since we went on our nightscavanging trip on Jiaxin's dad's truck...hahaha lost of fun.
but anyway, woke up longing for more today....
not just more sleep....(thats normal)
but more in everything else......
time for self,
thing-to-do tt i like,
more to life,
someone to share it with,
etcetcetc.....
am i being greedy??
i'm really not sure,
but looking around me at people who seem to have what holds their live together,
i'm really wondering,
is there something wrong on my part that i'm still "in-longing"??
sigh....

anyway, pleasent surprise message in the afternoon,
like a spark in a grey dull foggy night.
but is that all there is to that spark?
why is it when trials to prolong it are done,
you extinguish as unexpectedly as you came...

~incomplete~

time to start again?

hmmm...been long time since i blog. sorry to all...been swamped with work since sch started...sigh!!!
plus, had that 'want-to-but-dun-want-to' syndrome too.
had been wanting to start blogging again, but its like everytime i log in, the 'xian tiao'(bored) feeling just washes over and i would go....maybe next time...hahaha!!.....

anyway, life's been very uneventfull and disappointing since FOC ended, lots to rush for RAG, with i'm really worried we can't finish though my design team assures me we will....thankz guys.....
not just that,
my good old missing-something feeling is back....sigh....
on top of that, it was seem more apparent for it to surface nowadays.
and i really really really dunno wat to do bout it anymore...............

~tired and incomplete~

My Dive Trip...

Hee…..=]
the past 2 days have been fantastic…
the R & R weekend over in Malaysia was better than I expected…..
everything was excellent…..
and I couldn’t really have asked for more…=]

we did 5 dives all together throughout Sat. and Sun.
3 on Sat. and 2 this morning.
and what they said was true……
“each and every dive, will be better than your previous dive”=D

Dive 1:
Nothing much cause this was the first dive.
had to go thru all the 6 basic exercises as well as the 2 Emergency Ascends…..
didn’t go deep for this dive,
and everything was....sand sand, dead corals and more sand……
and it was like in black and white…
haha!!
however, we did manage to see a black-spotted yellow moray eel…..
boy was it cooooool……..hahaha!!!!
Dave (our diving instructor) managed to get it out of its cave….
so we were able to see the whole eel….
was like a metre and a half long I think…=]

Dive 2:
this was a little more fun….
when to the same depth as dive one (5m) at somewhere called Monkey Bay….
at least the corals seemed more alive this time round…..
and there were much more colours…hahaha!!!!
and lots of fishes….
I mean LOTS and LOTS of them…..
black, white, blue, yellow, silver etcetc…
all kind of funny colours…haha!!

Dive 3:
WE SAW A LOBSTER!!!!!!!!!
hahaha!!!
it was hiding under this coral and was like petrified of us….haha!!!
and man was it huge…
as in like ‘served-on-dinner-table’ kind of size….
but all moving and alive….
Dave was trying to catch it,
but it just shot straight through his hands……
I didn’t know that lobsters move that fast,
and as a matter of fact, swim backwards…
hahaha!!!!
oh yar, saw a giant clam too….
not those small little peanuts we eat,
but huge huge clam….=]

Dive 4:
I think this was the worse dive of the 5…..
was bloody early,
and I was like diving half awake…
was a miracle I didn’t bump into anything…haha!!!
anyway, my mask kept fogging up,
and has to clear it like tonnes of times….
to add to my frustration,
I was on the verge of pissing in my wetsuit….
as I didn’t had time to do it before hitting the water….
and for those who don’t know,
the wet suite traps a layer of water between skin and itself for insulation….
so if I piss in it…. I’ll practically be wrapping myself in my piss….
hahahaha!!!!!!
it funny now, but think bout the agony I was in…….
nothing new too….
same kinds of corals, same kind of fishes..=]
Dive 5:
last dive of the trip,
and best of the lot….
before this trip,
I though clown fishes were cute,
but now,
I know they are CUTE……
really………they look even cuter than Nemo in really life…
hahaha!!!
we also had this big silver batfish that followed us through out the dive..
curiosity on the part of the fish I guess=]
there were also these 3 gigantic hump-head parrot fishes swimming around….
and when I say gigantic, I mean gigantic….
each was like 2 metres in length…..
apart from these….
we also saw a blue-spotted ray,
as well as a few crown of thorns (coral killers)……

~satisfied, but missing it already~

The MOD Squad...

MOD Squad transforming stance=]
(clockwise: me, Paul, Miao Ling, Yang Fan, Royston
Xing Yun, Xin Jia, Aik Min and Tiffany)


MOD-box (Theme: Modernism)...
(row 1: Marshall, Royston, Jia Xin, Yang Fan
row2: Xing Yun, Miao Ling
row 3: Me, Paul, Aik Min, Tiffany.)

War of the World????

two more days to go…..
and I can’t wait anymore…hahaha!!!!
two more days out of this uncomfortable hell hole……
and for the past few days,
the uncomfortable situation at home has mutated from bad,
to complete nonsense
it’s starting to resemble a war zone more and more…
on one hand you got the unhappy employer (my aunt) arguing with the seemingly inefficient maid,
on the other,
you have the angry mother (my aunt) disciplining her two unreasonable, hellish kids….
sigh!!!!!
it’s just utterly chaotic…
take for example this morning…
woke up a little late,
(reason: was out watching Fantastic 4 and have supper till about 3am=D)
and the first thing I hear before I even open my eyes is,
my distress aunt screaming and yelling at my 2 cousins…
threats, accusations and pleads, where flying everywhere…
not that I blame my aunt at all for the chaos…
given the situation in which I’m in her shoes,
I guess I wouldn’t have been able to control myself this long…
would have exploded long long long time ago.
but however,
without a doubt in my mind,
those two little freaks deserve all the discipline they can get…
those rascals are just totally out of control,
totally beyond saving in my eyes.
they are so rude, unreasonable, demanding and irritating!!!!!
they’re as un-lovable as any kid can get…
even the word ‘kid’ might be an inappropriate connotation in this case…
I think ‘little monsters’ might be more applicable…….seriously!!
fortunately, they aren’t the only 5 years old and 12 years old I know,
cause if they were,
I swore I would have hated kids…
thank goodness NO…
cause I my opinion, children are children,
youthful, adorable, lovable, a little teeny-weeny bit unreasonable sometimes….
children are a blessing=]
but those 2…
never in the world would they be blessings….

sigh!!!!
good thing after tomorrow,
I’ve one whole week away from here…..YEEEEEEEEE HAR!!!
then another week of late night SCUBA lessons,
follow by a peaceful diving weekend a ‘sea’ away from here…. =]
and then,
just got to survive another few days before I can MOVE!!!!!!
yEa!!!!!!!

~desperately wanting to bypass the next 48hrs of my life~

Its quite true....haha!!!

Your Rising Sign is Pisces

Dreaming and introspective, you're often lost in your thoughts. Which is okay by you... you're inner world is pretty darn awesome. And while you are inwardly confident, sometimes you seem a bit unsure. People often handle you more delicately than they need to. You love luxury, and even if you're a bit broke, you want things to look "rich." Mysterious and demure, you keep secrets about yourself to remain an enigma.

What is Your Rising Sign?

From a Grand Senior...

today, i found out that i was not award the scholarship....
sigh!!!!!!!
although i have been hoping and hoping and hoping that they would give it to me,
but then,
upon hearing that they didn't,
surprisingly i wasn't really that shock...
maybe amidst all the hoping,
i knew somewhere at the back of my head,
that with 2 As, 2 Bs, and a B3
it wasn't possible...
sigh!!!!!!
and so now,
i've to launch myself full force into applying for all those darn loan.....
sigh!!!!!!

oh welz,
apart from that unsurprising but none the less 'happy-less' morning,
my afternoon was great.
went down training as a naggy grand senior..haha!!!
think i was like a irritating fly bugging Xin Yun for the whole training.
She's a J1, and since Ted ask me to watch her and remind her of her mistakes,
somehow or another,
i found myself following and helping her through out the whole training...
not that i've anything to complain about,
since i'm actually really glad about it and i enjoyed myselft...
just hope that she doesn't feel irritated with a grand senior always tagging beside her...
if so.......Sorry Xin Yun!!!!=]
anyway,
she is really trying her best i can see...
just that sometimes she *blur blur* a little,
but after explaining stuff to her,
she does change,
and she do ask questions
and not just *nodnod* but still do the mistake like most.
though must say, she looked a little stressed out during her lappings and sprintings,
but after that,
a little encouragement always brought out a 'Smile' from her.....
and seeing that from a grand junior,
what else can this naggy old grand senior ask for...haha=D
to Xin Yun: Lets go yar!!!!!!! just relax and focus.....U GO GURL!!!!!!!=D

~ surprisingly not that anxious anymore, but still hoping for more~

What happen when it rains???

todays training was delayed because of a freak shower....
some funny photos of the team hiding in the shed...
hahaha!!

Name: AC(I) Canoeist
Scientific Name: Homosapien Retardus
Species: Primate
Habitat: Tropical Rain-Forest, Normally around huge bodies of water
Frequency of Sightings: Numerous( 4 times a week..)
Country of Origin: Singapore

14 monkeys in a cage...

the intelligent one on the chair...

another intelligent one actually reading....ot pretending to read..haha=D

Incomplete(continued)

boy,
I think I’m addicted to cheese cakes and coffee….
for every single day in this week,
I’ve been spend like so mush time in the library café,
reading, drinking and indulging myself in their cakes….
hmmm…..
initially, it was just an excuse for me to leave house early,
and not to spend those uneasy silent moments at home with my uncle around…
but then, after the first time, the second time…..
I felt that in reality, that wasn’t the sole reason that I was doing these…
realized that I actually find it comforting…
somehow or another,
having a book at hand and sinking myself into those soft pushy couches at the café,
allows me to just completely envelope myself in my reading
and forget of all the loneliness, worries and anxiety in my life…
with a book, a slice of Oreo cheesecake or brownie, and a cool cup of blended coffee in front of me…..
my world suddenly becomes whole.
furthermore, with those slow soul music playing through my head phones…..
just for that moment in time,
there’s nothing more that I could ask for……
nothing at all….
but too bad these heavenly moments only last for that short 2 hours or 3….
and when times up…..
back to the crude and terrible reality….
a cold, loneliness and incomplete world…
where happiness only comes and goes in brief little pockets of time,
while gloomy clouds dominate everything else……
sigh!!!!

~still looking forward to nothing other then another library session....sigh!!!

`

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's the True You?

Incomplete

the whole of this week something is amiss…
felt a sort of ‘incomplete-ness’ more frequent than usual in this five days.
sigh!!!

it started of with training…
even now, when I’m down paddling,
there’s a void in me which was once filled,
a void which I’ve never felt before in all my competitive years in this sport.
can’t really put a finger on exactly what is wrong.
the only thing I know is that,
I no longer have the ‘I’m-the-fastest-boat-on-the-water’ feeling anymore.
though this might sound a little egoistic,
but it was really how I felt through out all these years.
during all the hundred training sessions that I’ve survived through
it’s a sense of pride and motivation for me as a kayaker/canoeist,
a pride of being among the top,
a pride for my own craft and event,
and my sole basic motivation to push beyond my limits during all those torturous trainings.
however, this feeling, this pride seems to be wavering recently…
though I’m still flying of the starting line,
still trying my best to lead, to enjoy the feeling of leading,
but then, somewhere up in this head of mine,
there’s the voice telling me to slow down.
a voice reminding me that it’s no longer about me,
I no longer have the luxury of being trained.
now it’s about them,
those boys, my juniors, grand-juniors.
I’m no longer the one to step into the ‘battlefield’,
but now it’s me responsibility to prepare them for ‘battle’,
and not to prepare myself…
and with that, I’ll have to slowdown,
and tail behind them to watch and train them.
although, I’m doing it, but I do not like it at all…
every single time I slow down for them to catch up so as to observe them,
I find myself slowing down more and more and more,
till a point where catching up for me is no longer possible.
for the pass 6 years,
I’ve come to be so bloody comfortable of being ahead always,
leading the pack with a clear unobstructed view of the horizon ahead,
chasing down more superior boats in my own,
taking T2s in my T1, hanging on to K2s in my K1,
until a point that now,
as long as another boat is in front,
I find myself losing everything I hold so dearly out on the water…
and not being able to get it back…sigh!!

~empty...so very very empty...~