Rainy....=]

2day, it rained like mad……
tonnes n tonnes of water were like pouring down from heaven……..
havn’t rained like tis since who noes when..
but lucky it started after trg…..
though we couldn’t finish packing up……
me n Jeremy was like strollin back 2 get another boat 2 wash when..
KRONGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
lightning, thunder, then chaos….
people were shouting
SCRAM!!!!!
GET UNDER E SHETHER!!!!
GET OUT OF E RAIN!!!! n stuff…..
nobody panicked though….juz shocked mayb….
we were all drenched n soaked……
but anyway,
it wasn’t really depressing at all….
in fact, I feel surprisingly cheerful, though I was cold n really wet…..
not miserable at all….
being soaked in e rain was sort of fun…..
seems like it brought out e little child in me=]
as in
I used 2 realli wanna play in e rain,
but mummy always say no…….
scare I fall sick n stuff…..
so, I think I sort of fulfilled part of my childhood desire 2day I guess…=]

Symbol of love??

‘life is meaningless,

and dead is inevitable.’

hmmmm…not always lah….
only sometimes…..
mayb like 95% of life…for now…
haha!!

well, dunno whether I’m e only person tt realizes tis…..
when couples look at one another….
as in they face each other..
like 1 of those pictures or those finally movie scenes
where they hold hands n face one another
n tell their partners how much they love them…how happy they’re….n other mushy stuff,
they actually form e shape of a ‘heart’ as in e 'love shape' together…
where their heads r e adjacent bumps,
n their linked hands forms e meeting lines of e lower portion of e ‘heart’
hmmmmmm……
wonder whether was e ‘heart’ a symbolic derivative of these scenes=]

anyway, life update of 2day……did totally nothing e whole day…..
then went out 4 dinner with my aunts……
they were searchin 4 some spices known as ‘psyllum husk’ in Little India….
then they decide 2 go Indian 4 dinner….so called me up 2 meet them,
well, its e first time I’m had true Indian cuisine in spore….
n expected, everything was like creamy n heavy….
n surprisingly not spice enuf….
think bcoz it’s toned down 2 meet e liking of e average sporean….=]

Can't feel my butt!!

I’m bored…….
dunno wat 2 do,
hav been sitting on my bum in front of tis com since like 930….
hmmmmm
think its starting to get numb….

had training tis morning…
finally, my n Varsin were put together 2 row our K2…
2 weeks 2 competition, n tis is like e 2nd time we’re rowing 2gether…
dun even hav a race plan yet…….sigh!!!
anyway, found it extremely difficult 2 wake up on sat. mornings….
mayb bcoz I’ve 2 be up at 5am…..
but I dun really think tts e main reason….
seems like I lack motivation….
I mean, 4 e past 6 years, going 2 training was a sort of like a personal thing…
I trained 2 b e best….
worked myself 2 a new level of tiredness every train….
I aimed 4 something in e Schs’ Nat.
but now….
training others 2 row their best doesn’t really feel e same…
even when I try 2 focus on myself when non of e others r near,
I can’t really concentrate….
juz can’t seem 2 muster up enuf 2 make e boat fly…..
hmmmmm…….
sure do miss e good old days…..where I was being trained n now training others…..(“,)

well, my aunt finally bought her new phone 2day…..
Samsung E-630…..e RED model….
dun even noe wat she sees in a red colour phone….
juz seemed wrong 2 me 4 a phone 2 be completely bright red in colour…..
so extra…..
it goes against my artistic sense….hahaha!!!!
but…..
I wan my new phone too……
when when when……….

Cheeeeeeeeese!!!!!!!!!

2day I had a total of different kinds of cheese at 1 go….
cottage cheese, mozzarella, parmesan n cream cheese….
yum yum….i love cheese….=]

well, 2days dinner was a success=]
though there were minor ups n downs while preparing it……
started out really fine….
shopping 4 e ingredients was quite stressful….
only had 34bucks n with e cheeses, meat, veg I had 2 get,
I was damn worried tt 34bucks wouldn’t b enuf….
was like adding up e price of each item as I went along….
finally it came up 2 $33:60….
close shave….hahaha=]

cookin was alrite…
had Kakak around 2 help me chop mince n dice most of e ingredients….
I was juz like standing around dumpin stuff into e pan,
frying stuff here, simmering stuff there…it was fun…
except……
I cut my left index finger….ouch=[
was opening e can tomato paste n got a little impatient n was tryin 2 force e lid open with my hands….
stooooopid me……
now can’t even type with tt finger anymore…..sigh!!!

anyway, did another stupid thing too….
I FORGOT 2 pre-boil e lasagna sheets b4 assembling them…
so I was like happily spreading e cottage cheese-egg layer, followed by my tomato beef n italian sausage sauce then e sheets(uncooked), covering it e cheese followed by sauce layer again n ended with e mozzarella layer….
then……Oh shit!!!!
e thot of e pasta sheet being undercooked n hard when everything was ready suddenly popped in2 mind…..
*panick panick*
so I had 2 remove all e layers n reassemble them again….
thus, e cheese, mozzarella n sauce layer was all like mushed in2 1…hahahaha=]
but……
it turned out really really fine……..yEa!!!!!!!!
bet my lasagna could beat pizza hut’s 1 anytime!!!!

so here it is….
dinner menu of 2day:
1.Caesar Salad with chicken n bacon bits.
2.Mash-potatoe with Cream-cheese onion dipping,
3.Mince beef, Italian sausage lasagna complete with 3 different cheeses(cottage, parmesan, and mozzarella)
4.Garlic French toast.
served n prepared by Chef Tiw….hee..=]
with love……
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha=D (bending over n laugh)

Complains of a bad kayaker...

2days training was terrible……
started out ok…
2.8k triangle was quite good actually,
then came e last 2k lap, n e 5 sets of 500m sprints….bish!!!
total wipe out…
there was a very strong side wind from south…
then my big fat tiger backside kept being blown away,
thus my tiller was perpetually stuck on 1 side or e other….
n still e my tiger kept being swept out....
e others seems 2 go straight while i'm e only 1 drifting out....
(mayb e raptors dun get affected tt badly???
since there butt ain't as big as e tiger.......)
thus…
couldn’t kick properly, did not get e rhythm right at all….
I was so damn freaking pissed….
i sworn i would hav broke something there n then 2 vent my anger if i could.....
sigh!!
but wadeva it is....
can’t blame e water….
think I’m juz still unable 2 handle rough water….
ARGH!!!!
e thing is, a good kayaker can row well no matter wat….
throw him in a good boat, he rows well,
force him in a bad boat, he rows well,
calm water, ‘shit’(choppy) water, he still should row well…..
sigh!!!
muz not let my frustration get e better of me…..
gotta find some way 2 refocus when tis happens again….
sigh....wat a assistant coach iu turn out 2 be.....sigh!!

anyway, didn’t blog yest coz I was juz too damn tired…
tuition yest was as ‘interesting’(*sarcasm) as tues…
n actually, Geraldine is quite a noisy little bugger….after she warmed up tt is…
nice girl though...
very interesting personality..
1 surprising thing: Ethel was concentrating very well yest…
was really surprise tt she did all my ques without complaining,
n was 1st 2 say no when I offered a toilet break…hmmmm…weird..
but…..
I still got bullied….
they pestered me until I gave in…
now I owe them sweets…..bah!!!!!!!!!
think i'm too soft-hearted.....
juz like aways giving in 2 Stacey in class...
sigh!

tmr’s my turn 2 prepare dinner again….
it wasn’t initially,
then my small aunt had 2 bring up e fact tt I’m free tmr…..bleah=p
n so, kena sabo 2 b Chef Tiw again……
think I’ll make beef lasagna, n mash potatoes….
since they love my cream cheese mayo mash potato sauce=]
then mayb caeser salad n garlic bread….
n mayb i should spike e mash potatoe sauce....
then those 2 noisy irritating unbearable cousins of mine can drift in2 dreamland as soon as they finish diner.....
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
n sooooooo........
I gotta go shoppin tmr….
hmmmm…but I’m broke….
think I’ll borrow money from her 1st since she volunteered me…..
hahahahahaha=D
hope dinner turns out fine…….

A normal day...

"Birdie, birdie, in the sky,

why'd you do that in my eye?

Looks like sugar, tastes like sap.

Oh my god!! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!"

hahahahaha=D

2day was like any other tues 4 me…
nothing new, nothing interesting….
hmmmm, on second thot, there was something new…
circuits 4 training 2day was new…..
n it was realli extraordinary cardio-killing…
after finishin it,
felt as if I got hit in my stomach by a truck,
onto top of tt, my inside felt as if it had been taken out,
dumped in2 a blender,
blended all 2gether,
n forced back down my throat….
man, was I slaughtered….
haha!!!!!!!!

tuition was ok,
but as usual I was hopin it would hav been better….
juz realized tt Geraldine ain’t really as quiet as I thot she was…

but i'm not complaining=]
mayb I was juz bcoz she was shy last time…
2day she was really restless…
n 4 no reason wat so ever she would burst in2 laughter….
it juz made me wonder…..
am I really tt faaarny in class…hahaha=]
she reminded me of Miss Kang when she was drunk
hahaha=]
Ethel was her usual moody self,
n Audrey was absent again….
hmmm wonder whether she’s ok
didn’t come last week 2….n normally with her around, e class seems more alive….
hope she comes next week……

1 thing i've been noticing too...
i've actually been lookin at e evening sky lately alotz tis past weeks...
mayb coz e nites hav been very very unexplainably clear tis 2 weeks...
i can actually keep track e progression of e shape of e moon
it was juz a smiley on Valentines, n 2days, it almost full....
so Faaaaaaaarny...haha=D
think it'll b complete tmr...=]

ok, it’s towards e end of feb oredi…
which means PAY DAYS coming…yEa!!!!
havn’t even got Jan’s pay 4 canoeing yet….
but I dun blame it on Mr. See though…
e sch is really really slow…
ARGH!!!!
but anyway, think I’ll get e tuition 1 next week…..

Stace, I’m really really sorry…hope u accept my humble apology…I promise, once my pay comes, we’ll hav dinner k!!!! cross my heart n hope 2 die…….(“,)

R we realli tt humane??

1 question….
r we, humans, as humane in our ways as we think we r??
n can e word ‘humane’ b use in e context of other animals??
juz wonderin is it actually possible 4 humans 2 treat animals as equals???
well, ‘The Beacon of Hope' was showin on channelnewsasia tonight….
it was bout e e national kidney foundation (NKF)…
I got me thinking, if SPCA were 2 hav a charity show like e NKF…
will sporeans b supporting it as much as e NKF charity show??
though I had wish 4 e ans 2 b yes,
but in reality, it really difficult or impossible 4 me 2 see it ever happening….
somehow or other, being e dominant species on earth has made us selfish...
we only care bout s ourselves…
whether we like 2 admit it or not, we r over-exploiting other earthly species…
4 food, 4 shelter, 4 useless nonsensical reasons like beautifying ourselves, taknin them 4 granted..
even 4 those people who hav pets…
how many actually treat their pets like family, n not juz some novelty tt they dump aside when they get bored??
even in our usage of language, 2 treat other human with e respect a human rightfully deserves is known as being ‘humane’…
but is there any other word tt describes specifically on treating other animals with e respect tt e animal rightfully n naturally deserves??
yes, I agree tt mother nature has meant 4 species 2 survive on e death of others.
others muz b compromised in other 4 survival…
but tt will only justify e killing of animals for food 2 a certain extent,n mayb shelter…
but then wat bout 4 cosmetic purposes?? its not survival….
I can say tt 4 animals 2 b treated as equals is not how its meant 2 b,
but I do hope tt we, man, can treat them with more respect….
4 example,
e next time we decide 2 step on a trail of ants, ask ourselves tis….
hav they done anything 2 justify us stepping on them,
or r we juz stepping on them selfishly base on our own dislike…
how would we feel it some other animals (if there ever is 1) 2 juz step on us when they like…
e next time we look at our pets, we see family, n not juz ‘pets’.
n juz 2 add, animal cruelty is DESPICABLE!!!!!!!

2day after training on my way 2 e train station…
Brian asked me tis:
‘u going mrt issit??...y u wanna walk 1 big round…tt way shorter wat…’
he was referin 2 e route I was takin..
as there were 2…
1 was along kallang river, by e beach,
e other was along e expressway,
e latter 1 is faster….
well, I havn’t realli gave it much though…
not tt I didn’t noe e faster route,
juz tt I like walkin by e long route…
I like e calmness, e quietness, e private-ness I feel walkin by e river…
compare 2 walkin along a noises expressway, surrounded by rushin cars, driven by complete strangers…
it gives me time 2 b by myself…not tt I like 2 b alone,
but it juz really soothing, n relaxing…
think it’s like therapeutic too…
n especially when it’s windy like today….
it juz feels really nice 2 walk home along tt longer route…
hearing e gentle sound of water hitting shore…
basking in e subtle warmth of e settin sun…
feeling e cool salty sea breeze…
n juz purely submerge in my own private world…..=]

a fren...

a boy went 4 a sleep-over with a bunch of his very close frenz on fine weekend nite….
things started out really fine…
laughter was in e air…n every1 were smiling n juz enjoyin being around 1 another…
games were played, tit-bits were eaten, n movies were watched,
then it came e time 2 turn in….
every1 settled down n were getting comfortable.
some laid out on e floor,
surrounded by 1 another, huggin on 2 their allocated pillow,
enjoyin e chance of entering dreamland accompanied by close frens…
others, snuggled up among 1 another forming pairs,
n were walking thru e gates of dreamland in e embrace of other.
alas….
it came 2 tis boys attention a fren of his, boy A was lookin really gloomy n down.
n e only other person still awake beside he himself.
though he question why so,
but A brush it aside with a mere wave sayin he was ok…
but e boy knew something wasn’t rite….
then suddenly it struck him….
there juz beside him on e sofa were boy B having gal C fallin asleep on his laps…
ah..all of e sudden e memory of tt faithful nite came flooding back…
tt nite where secrets were shared, n feelins were revealed,
intentionally n unintentionally…..
seeing A stealing side glances of B n C….
tryin not 2 b aware of them,
tryin to not care….
but,
e saddeness shone vaguely through his sorrowful eyes…
sub-consciously his emotions made him vulnerable,
it kept him thinking bout B n C even when he really wanted not 2 ‘give a damn’
deep down inside, A was hurting..
no 1 then realized A was hurting but tt boy…
tt other boy who was awake…
coz A’s emotion seemed so familiar 2 tt boy…
they were going thru e same terrible experience,
under 2 completely different circumstances….
though 1 knew wat both were going thru, but e other didn’t…
so as e night slowly creep pass giving away 2 e first ray of e morning sun,
both drifted unknowingly in2 their dreams,
both hoping tt their dream will b less merciful than e cruel reality they resident in…..

hmmm…I’m in quite a fair mood 2day…
came back from Winny’s place in 2 afternoon feeling quite tired…
due 2 staying awake till 7 tis morning…
anyway, last night was fun….
played mahjong n watch ‘white chicks’ n ‘Juon’
b4 turning in…
I’m really proud of myself…
won 5 straight sets playin with WeiYuan, Zheng n Auggy..in total, won 8 out of 11 gmes
in 2 think they were actually e 1s tt started me in mahjong…
haha=] funny…
as a Chinese saying goes,
“green is derived from blue, but attracts more attention then blue” (I think)
direct Chinese-English translation…sounds a bit off..haha=D
‘Qing Chu Yu Lan, Er Shen Yu Lan’….=]

was pleasantly surprise when I checked my mail 2day too…
got a msg from PeiJun..yEa!!
was planning 2 emailed here 2day, but guess she beat me 2 it..
but I’m not complaining=]
she sounds like a really nice, lovable person….
anyway, hope I would get 2 interact with her more=]….

tmr Mr. See wun b around….
n I’m 2 take them for water prac…
hmmm hope I can manage….
a bit stress out now…..

oh yah...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TATOU Kang=]
hahaha=d

Growing up!!

As we grow older…I’ve come 2 realized our perception of certain things tend 2 change….
e way we view things n e way we interact with them changes…
mayb tis is wat people call….'outgrowing'...

was making coffee tis morning, when I suddenly bcame aware tt I’m making a hot beverage….
e thing was, I’ve been drinkin hot beverages a lot recently….
coffee especially…
2 think last time I use 2 b a hater of any drink n every drink tt was shot n steaming….
had 2 hav all my drinks iced…
ice was like my best friend….
n I was oso constantly an ‘ice-crusher’….like 2 chew on ice….
hahahaha=]
but recently, hot drinks hav suddenly bcome my preference…..
outgrowing my cold drinks mayb???

heres another story…
'fire'…
still remember once upon a time,
tis kid n his bunch of classmate decided 2 play with fire in class…
so they lock themselves up in a class room during e break between morning classes n afternoon classes,
took out a box of matches….actually 5 boxes in fact,
n made a bonfire right smack center of e classroom….
e kid even lit up a rolled up piece of newspaper, lit it up, n started runnin around e class room,
imitating e torch-bearers of e olympic games…
hahaha=D
wat a bunch of idiots we were….
yes yes, I was tt kid,
tt ‘gang leader’ so 2 speak,
n yes we got caught…a teacher passing by saw smoke coming out under e door,
n a bright spot of light runnin around thru e tinted windows….
hahaha….
though we were smart enuf 2 close e door n get ready a pail of water juz in case our ‘exploration’ got out of control,
but not enuf 2 hav drawn e curtains I guess…hahaha!!!!
got ourselves in2 1 whole shit load of trouble then…
kk, e things is, then, fire 2 us were fun….
we were curious n amazed at it…
how it could touch a piece of paper n immediately lit it up n charring it black….
how with it, stupid little tubes of unattractive fireworks burst in2 myriads of colours n fascinating patterns…
how it could be such a powerful symbol, held with such high importance n pass around e world on a torch…
n thought it was fun 2 play with it..hahaha=]
but now, I see it only as a necessity in life, which hav e power 2 consume when out of control….
without it, could we live our life as it is 2day??
n with excess of it, lives will b lost…
2 different end of a spectrum in terms of how I saw ‘fire’…hahaha!!
n 2 look back on tt incident, boy were we a idiots…hahahah!!
not 2 mention fortunate 2 not hav hurt ourselves….
but it was fun though….
e playing part tt is, not e punishment part….
hey, but how many people can say they were actually sent 2 see e principle 4 playing with fire..
hahaha!!!!

anyway, yesterday was a good day…
but was 2 tired 2 blog…so will make up now=]
tuition went quite well…even Geraldine who's normally real quiet join in e fun n was laughing a whole lot more….
n Ethel too..hahaha!!!
thought I still would hav prefer them 2 concentrate more on e lesson…
but well, can’t ask 4 too much I guess…..

e highlight of yesterday had 2 be at night…
I received a postcard from Juliet’s wishin me Happy Chinese New Year…..
juz went I was feelin a bit shitty from reading on e train (motion sickness)…
n had a minor headache,
my uncle passes me e postcard, n miraculously I felt better=]
like I said b4, she’s e NICEST…=]
THANKZ JULS=]
its now my new bookmarks=]
well,hope she got e cookies I sent over…hope they survive their air trip over 2 her too…
hahahaha!!!

apart from all tis,was reading thru Del’s blog yest….
she seems a bit down….
msged her but no reply....
how she’s alrite……

2day was un-interesting….
so no point writing bout it I guess….

Simple beauties of today.

simple beauties in life:

A big orange sunset, seen across e horizon on a baby blue evening sky,
1 which isn’t too glaring nor is it too hot,
a sunset tt 1 could look at n admire its unexplainable beauty

without of peeping thru e gaps between fingers of a shielding hand.

A bright moon shines shining down from a clear night sky,
1 tts stands out so distinctively from e darkness around it,
a moon which though is far from being complete tonight,
but still shines faithfully over e heads of those below.

well, these r e 2 simple yet seemingly so intriguing n elegant things I saw 2day on e way back from training.
not sure whether is it bcoz I’m feelin a little down 2 day tt I’ve come 2 realize tis simple beauties in a not so simple world.
it’s like all of e sudden I’m aware of all tis small things which normally dun draw much attention….

can’t say I’m very sad, nor can I say I’m happy 2day….
think its like somewhere in between…hmmmm….very difficult 2 describe.
may its bcoz it Valentine….n I’m still..... err…’unwanted’.
guess I should call it e Valentine Blues…sounds like a song name...haha=D

those Valentine Blues…lalalalalala…

can’t get rid of those Valentine Blues….ohhhhhhh…

me n my Valentine Bluuuuuuuuuesss……………….

hahahahahahaha=]
apart from e beauty of tis 2 cosmic bodies 2day,
as usually, there were flowers, bouquets , roses everywhere,
not 2 mention everywhere i turn,
there’re loving couples holdin hand, laughing, giggling, teasing or juz plainly indulging themselves in e love they so fortunately hav from their other half.
e common sight of Valentine which I still envy till no end…….

anyway, 2 unpleasent things happen 2day…..
hmmmm….maybe its more appropriate 2 say 1 spirit-dampening incident,
n 1 uncomfortable situation….
1: decided out of e blue 2 drop by e library 2 try n 2 apply 4 a library card again after training 2day…
n found out tt I need my passport 2 do it coz I’m a foreigner….bish!!!!!!

as if i go everywhere with my passport.....sigh!!!
juz when I need some bedtime distraction 2 go 2 bed, n not drown myself in self-pity, loneliness, n misery
sigh!!!
2: my aunt came home n found out tt 1 of my cousin had e tv on in e bedroom n was still not asleep,
n e other had not packed her sch bag b4 sleeping…..
n so, there was once again threats flyin thru e tense air,
n scoldings which , I think, are audible 2 most of e neighbours on my floor….

for a peaceful person like me, who hates conflicts,
once again, unwillingly, I was stuck in situation where a mum was disciplining her kids,
n I, being an onlooker,

boy did i felt so out of place……really uncomfortable….
n 2 think I actually tried preventing some of tis unpleasentness by trying my best 2 convince tt small fellow 2 off e tv n sleeps….
but NOOOO….for a small little spoilt brat like him, he sure has 1 hell of a thick skull 2 contains tt king-size stubbornness of his….

mayb tts why I stay away from home as much as I can….
I hate family bickering….its so against e nature of a family…..
wadeve it is, at e end of e day, I still consider myself as an 'intruder' in e life of my aunt n her family,
(though she really doesn’t treat me like 1, n I am very grateful tt she took me in),
but well…..wat I mean is tt they hav their own family,

n its their right 2 run their family as they see fit,
n as much as possible, I feel I shouldn’t intrude in2 e running of their family…
n I certainly dun wan 2…..
sigh!!!!!!
still got at least 5 more months b4 I’m put out of tis misery n in2 e life of an undergrad…..
juz gotta b patient I guess…..sigh!!!!

anyway, Fio's birhtday in exactly 36mins.....Happy 19teen Birthday Fio=]

Valentine's Day...

This month bright Phoebus enters Pisces,

The maids will have good store of kisses,

For always when the fun comes there,

Valentine's Day is drawing near,

And both the men and maids incline

To chuse them each a Valentine;

And if a man gets one he loves,

He gives her first a pair of gloves;

And, by the way, remember this,

To seal the favour with a kiss.

This kiss begets more love,

and thenThat love begets a kiss again,

Until this trade the man doth catch,

And then he doth propose the match,

The woman's willing, tho' she's shy,

She gives the man this soft reply,

"I'll not resolve one thing or other,

Until I first consult my mother.

"When she says so, 'tis half a grant,

And may be taken for consent.

hmmm…tmr’s V-day liao…..
for e pass few years, V-day has alwaes brought with it a sense of jealousy,
a sense of incomplete-ness,
n a teeny-weeny bit of loneliness for me…….
sound quite ironical given e fact tt
Vday is suppose 2 celebrate companionship, relationships n love…
oh welz……
its juz another normal day 4 me…..
which I’m actually quite use 2 oredi……..

but i realli do hope n pray,

next year i could celebrate it with my some1 special.....

anyway, I did have a really memorable V-day in JC…
it was during my J1 year=]
not realli a true 1 on 1 V-day kind of date…
more like a class gathering I might say…
there was me, Juliet, Steph, Choikwun, Kenrick, Shaun, Stella, Chris……
yup, think tts all…..
went out 4 dinner 2gether at mache=]
hahaha=] might not seem much 2 others,
but 4 me,
was actually e very 1st time I was at a dinner specifically 4 e celebration of Valentines
at least I was among a bunch of frenz n not alone during tt special day.
n e beauty of it all was tt
even though at tt time, we knew 1 another 4 not more then 2 months…..
but somehow or another,
it felt like we were frenz since who noes when….
really had fun tt day……

I think tt Valentines should not b a day restricted 2 celebration of love between a couple…
I should oso encompass e celebration of friendship….
a celebration of love among frenz….
a celebration of tt special bond tt a group of people share n cherishes
a celebration where we r reminded of e importance of frenz
n 2 treasure those around us as without them,
life would not be complete.

so to all those out there…..
Happy Valentine’s Day=]

Turtle Doves and Love Birds
"Oft have I heard both youth and virgin say

Birds choose their mates, and couples too, this day;

But by their flight I never can divine,

When I shall couple with my Valentine."

Herrick

e day at wild wild wet.....nice pic!!!

hahaha!!! pic after a day of fun!!!

e other day on bus 2 sentosa....lookin as retarded as ever, khai...

stace n stella on e bus....she looks a bit sleepy rite??

The 'Wat if...'s in life

Wat if…..
well, over tis Chinese new year holiday, tis ques ‘wat if…’ has pop in2 mind pretty often…..
been thinking a lot bout e ‘wat if…’s in my life…..
n e ‘if not, then….’s too…
for example:
‘wat if mom hadn’t seen e advertisement for e ASEAN scholarship on e newspaper??’
‘wat if I had applied for it??’
‘wat if I applied but didn’t get thru??’
‘wat if I wasn't sent to AC(I)??’
‘wat if I’ve stuck 2 band(or e matter of fact…..Drama) n not transfer 2 canoeing??’
‘wat if Derek n I hadn’t lost our maiden race due 2 stupid directional mistakes??’
‘wat if I’ve not taken art??’
‘wat if I’ve not chosen 2 go 2 ACJC??’
‘wat if I’ve not chose 2 quit lifeguard n give canoeing a second try’
‘wat if I hadn’t had Anderson??’
‘wat if Jansen wasn’t injured n I was still stuck in a T1??’
‘wat if Anderson stayed on??’
‘wat if I hadn’t paired up with Ash??’
‘wat if I hadn’t broken up with Ash??’
‘wat if e J1s were more committed??’
‘wat if I didn’t sign up for e zoo attachment??’
‘wat if I did even worse in my prelims then I oredi did??’
‘wat if Mr. See didn’t invite me back 2 help him coach??’
‘wat if Mr. **** didn’t invite me 2 teach at his tuition center??’
‘wat if I’ve decided 2 commit myself 2 another 1 in boarding??’
'wat if i'm oredi attached now??'
n e list goes on….
n tis is only bout me…..
there still stuff like…..
‘wat if dad didn’t change careers??’
‘wat if mum n dad didn’t decide 2 hav another kid??’
‘wat if they didn’t hire a maid??’
‘wat if tt ugly incident didn’t happen??’
etc etc etc…..
hmmmm…. e ‘wat if…’s in my life….
for some, I might hav answer….
for others, e answer will never be known….
but I’m pretty sure tt even for those tt I can answer, I wun b able 2 completely answer them 2 e fullest….
coz wadeva I might think or see or feel might never b 100% accurate….
only by going thru them will I noe for certain e complete outcomes of tis ‘wat if…’s
but….
answering any of tis ‘wat if..’s will bring forth another series of different ‘wat if…’s
so…hmmmm...
I guess ‘wat if…’s r juz part n parcel of our lives….
juz a series questions tt we’ll never be able to complete….

anyway, enuf of tis ‘wat if..’s
shouldn't think so much bout them since thinking bout them wun help a bit…..
went CK’s house with Steph, Josh, Kenrick, n PeiYuan 2day…..
basically we juz turned out 2 b a bunch of mahjong addicts n was stuck at it throughout e whole time…..
think I’m really getting e hang of mahjong now…hahaha=D
mayb not beginner anymore….can rise 1 level 2 intermediate I guess…=]
then….
had pizza 4 dinner….
self-made pizza….every1 contributed 2 making those pizzas....….
muz say, they turned out better than we all expected….
though e 1st 1 was a little soggy,
but all in all….
they were great..haha=]
watched ‘Racing Stripes’ with Alex aft tt…
it was a really refreshin movie….
something like ‘Babe’…unexpectedly good I can say=]
really loved those 2 flies……
funky!!! hahaha=D

overall…2day was a good day=]
yEa!!!!!!!

this is pekhong…..signing off for bakeapplez.blogspot.com….
till e next time….stay cool, stay calm, n juz kick back n relax….
nitez!!!!

I'm MELTING!!!!1

Man… I’m roasting like a chicken in an oven….
E weather’s getting from warm to hot to unbearably roastin…
think I’m like losing weight juz by sweatin…maybe 5kg per day..
hahahaha=]
it’s like a sauna now…..n 2 think people actual payin 2 get into 1..hahaha!!!
i would gladly pay 2 enter a freezer now.

well, I’m down 2 my last 6 hours at home…
in 6 hours time, I would b on my way back 2 spore…
relieved??? A bit….
sad??? Not really…..
moody??? As usual I guess…..
but really look 4wards 2 some peace n quiet once I reach spore…
since every1s home here now, n not leaving till like sun….
*phew*….finally some quiet time…
some personal time…
mayb juz n reflect thru certain stuff…..personal stuff…..

spoke 2 dad last nite…..
seems like its bcoming a kind of father-son thing every time I’m home….
anyway, he started out by asking me stuff bout uni admission n stuff,
but then as we progress, e topic somehow became 2 1 bout lives…
as in life-plannin… or planning 4 e future as its commonly known as…
basically he was trying 2 urge me 2 think further then juz university…
further down e road 2 entering e working world, family planning, financial planning n ultimately planning 4 retirement…..
hmmmmm…..was a bit shockin 4 19teen years old like me….
i mean…..well…now I’m juz like worried bout my tertiary edu n stuff, n retirement?????
seemed a little out of reach…….
but….
oh welz, I guess he’s quite rite….
even though I’ve doubts tt I might not exactly b able to plan my future down 2 e exact minute n second,
but I should think tt having a guideline 2 stick 2 would b better then non…..
at least I wun b fully lost n confused always…..

1 thing we dwelled bout 4 some time was where am I 2 go aft tis….
as in 4 uni…
talk bout NUS n other unis like Sydney n Melbourne n stuff…
e argument was basically is it worth spending so much 4 an oversea degree when u can get a local degree
n e stuff I’ll b studying would really not differ by tt much.
e only thing is….
oversea edu would leave me with an oversea degree n a deficit of a few hundred thousand dollars while local edu wun….
n in terms of quality of edu…..
well, even with a slightly better oversea edu, will I v given e opportunity 2 exploit.. nono.. utilize them????
hmmmmmm....decisions in life…..sigh!!!!!
4 e time being,
i feel tt most likely I’ll still end up ion NUS…
which realli isn’t tt bad….
since I’m oredi used 2 life there….
n all my frenz will still most likely b around.
n mom n dad wun really have 2 fork out tt much to support me……
they could worry more bout my bros…rather then me….

anyway, dad ensured me tt money wun b a prob…
which I think he’s lying 4 me benefit….
he said “this sum is yours, it’s allocated to you, and rightfully belongs to you”
he oso told me tt I’m responsible in ensuring tt I do not lose them….
or let them be un-knowingly or un-intentionally lost 2 others…..
n tt I’m 2 alwaes ask bout it even if I’m no gonna use it anytime soon……
hmmmmm…..well exactly how much he didn’t say…. N actually I dun really care…..
or should i?????

family planning was oso another ‘hot-topic’
stuff like…..
by when 2 get married???
to who??
where 2 reside??
when n why 2 hav my first child???
how many??
their education?? where n how??
Boy…..so serious stuff there….
i think wat hit me e hardest was “to who??”

everywhere I turn, I see couples….loving caring couples….
even when I ain’t wanna think bout it,
somehow or another, especially when I’m doing nothing..like tryin 2 fall a sleep,
‘It’ will sneakily creep in2 my pool of thoughts……….
When??? Who??? Where???
why not soon???
2 add 2 my misery,
V days round e corner….n I’m pretty sure tis year I’ll juz pass by me as un-happening as any other day…….
seein people going round getting stuff 4 their special some1, planning surprises, preparing 4 their other half…..
i bleed with envy…..
while actually feelin happy 4 them,
can’t help but feel really sad 4 myself……
really crappy feeling……
how I wish 2 already hav some1 special…..
some1 I can snuggle up 2 when i feel miserable…..
some1 I can go out of my way 2 please…..
some1 who really appreciates who I am…..
some1 I can love n care n be loved n cared for in return….
some1 special.
man…. I sound really freaking mushy…..
bah!!!!!

well, dad didn’t mention anything bout hows e ‘cold war’ now…..
but from wat I see….
think he’s really tryin make a best out of e situation…..
at least I’ve seen him smile a little more then e past few occasions……
mom’s still e same though…
dunno whether she can realize tt dad’s tryin…….

home.....sigh!!

I’m writin tis from home….
n I dun think I’ll be able to publish tis online until tis fri(11/2) co the network here is really FOS….
But I’ll try later…

e trip home yesterday was soso….
really didn’t wanna talk much or to be related to at all for e how trip..
she came home later then I expected n we had to rush…
then she was like bad mood all t\e way n stuff,
so I felt wats e point of starting a conversation if e replies I got were all spiked with irritation.
anyway, e stooopid cab driver brought us 2 e wrong place 2 take e shuttle bus to Senai n left us there….
then when another cabbie told us bout it, she started whining n complain n stuff….
as if tt will really help…..
even phone back to spore to complain….
wat the bloody point????
got me real irritated….think e cabbie was too…
n e funny thing was….
e cabbie actually told me ‘panggil girlfriend kamu to make up her mind’
a mixture of English n malay where ‘panggil’ means ‘call’ n ‘kamu’ mean ‘your’….
freaky man, SHE AIN’T NO GIRLFREN of mine…..
neverever will I get someone like her….till hell freezes over I say……
boy…I felt so darn embarrass then….(“,)
not tt I’m saying she has a bad character or wat, cause her character is actually quite good,
juz that, I can’t stand her personality….juz plain irritating…..sigh!!!

got back home in 1 piece gladly…….
e flight was terrible…
every1 had like a personal leg space of 50 by 50 by 70 in centimeter….
was so bloody cramp….
budget air my foot…
still cost like 100bucks per person 4 a 30min flight..
crap!!!!
i rather stick 2 my 17 ringgit bus ride…
they provide big me much more personal space too….
so much more comfortable too…

well…home was as I predicted..
cold war is still on…hostile zone….
hmmmm…..ain’t gonna hope anymore 4 a better CNY,
no use…
dun think it’ll ever happen....seeing e situation now…=[
but I can hope 4 this 3 days 2 pass as quickly as possible….
can’t wait 2 get back 2 spore n get on with life…
My pathetic life!!!!!!!
though it ain’t not really good coz its still missing somethings or someone,
but compare 2 life at home…
its definitely better
I guess…….

Chinese New Year Eve...
sigh!!

I can't stand html.....

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go

I'm standing here outside your doo

rI hate to wake you up to say goodbye.

But the dawn is breaking it's early morning

The taxi is waiting, he is blowing his horn

Already I'm so lonesome, I could cry

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you wait for me

Hold me like you never let me go

I'm leaving on a jetplane,

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh babe I hate to go

There is so many times I've let you down

So many times I've played around

I tell you now they don't mean a thing

.Every place I go I think of you

Every song I sing I sing for you.

When I come back I wear your wedding-ring

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you wait for me

Hold me like you never let me go

I'm leaving on a jetplane,

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh babe I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you

One more time let me kiss you

Close your eyes, and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come

I wont have to leave alone, and

Iwont have to say:

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you wait for me

Hold me like you never let me go

I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again.

I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again.

I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again.

Oh babe I hate to go.

well...actually it doesn't realli sound tt sad,
but it ain't realli tt happy too....
flights tonight...
guess i should be realli happy to go back for Chinese New Year,
but some how....
i dun realli feel tt happy.....
will it be e same as last year??
is the cold war still on at home??
will is still be as awkward as it has been 4 e last 5 years??
man...
how i wish it i can turn back time...
back to e time when i actually looked forward to going home.
back to e time when every1s happy 2 see every1 else at home.
back to e time when Chinese Nwe Year was still a family thing.....
but now.....
think part of me still dreads going home....
theres no longer tt warmth, tt love, tt festive joy at home anymore.....
sigh......
why can't he juz forgive n forget??

anyway, travelling back with my small aunt tis time...
she insisted on flying..wat a snob..
so guess we'll juz have to take a cab 4 hrs b4 departure down across the causeway n a nother 30clicks or more to e airport, spent another hour or so checking in, and plan our bottoms on the pal for likw 30mins before we arrive.....
instead of taking a 15min cab ride 2 e train station n a 5hr train ride home.....
cheaper, n less a hassle..
but noooooooo...
she wants 2 fly....
n bcoz we muz leave 4hrs b4 departure 2 give ample time 2 b stuck in e traffic on e causeway,
I GONNA MISS TRAINING...
worse thing was to ask Mr See 4 permission 2 skip training...
not that he wouldn't allow,
but on the contrary,
he would gladly allow me off,
but its juz i dun feel realli good skipping training like tt,
it my responsiblity to go down....
moreover, competitions coming, and e team ain't completely race ready yet...
me include....i feel wuite shitty realli.....
crap!!!!

got hold of Jess last nite and had somehelp with my template thingy...
and finally.......
its done,
i've a new background which i made myself...
yEa!!!
so now, i'm quite happy for that=]
but still got a little prob....sometimes e background doesn't load..
hmmmmm still gotta consult Jess i think
THANKZ Jess=D
Del, CK: its not gay anymore....n for your info, purple is a nice colour....Bleah=P

ARGH!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I’m gonna freaking burst a blood vessel soon…
why e hell is he so bloody difficult 2 handle..
bloody freaking spoilt brats…
spend e last bloody freaking hour trying 2 get tt idiot 2 remember his freaking spellin
n wat e hell do I get…he showing me his freaking attitude n dun even bother 2 try…CRAP!!!!
i'm so DAMN PISSED OFF!!!
he thinks I’ve nothing better 2 do then 2 sit on my bum n watch he show me tt freaking pissed off face of his when all I’m trying 2 do is 2 prevent his backside from being visited by e bloody cane…
wat!!! u think u’re pisssed off n tired n I’m not then……BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
n still hav e nerses 2 lie 2 his mom tt he can remember all of them spellings….
UTTER HORSESHIT!!!!!!!!!
bloody hell..
why do I even bother??

2day was a very good day 2 hav started out with…
found out tt I can’t represent 2 organisations 2 race in SDBA. so either I’ve 2 let Terence down or I hav 2 let Vasim down…
worse still, not juz them alone…
e team as well, both sides….SHIT man!!!!!
e only way I see now is tt i convince Terence 2 get a replacement n I carry on with Vasim…
not even sure whether I’m still rowin K1 anot….sigh(“,)

had time trials during training 2day…n e timings were a disgrace….
1 bloody minute off my personal best of last year…freak!!!!! tt equals 2 like being trash by 5-6 boatlengths…..
at tis rate I’m going, heats is as far as I can go……man, I’ll juz b slaughtered out there in tis condition….a newbie sent out 2 battle….a small fry getting kick sky high in e butt…..
heck!!!!!!OVER MY DEAD BODY if I’ll ever let tt happen….
I’ll hav 2 do somemore extra trainings on my own now…
n each training better b up 2 blood-punking intensity….
n think its time I revisit e mental aspect of competition like wat I did last year
muz make e finals with Vasim….
we can do it,
its juz me n him n kallang n nothing else…..juz us n only us….
n we hav e experience, e power, e technique, e determination, n e need…
done it before, we’ll do it again…..

*well, at least now I’m not fuming as much anymore……sigh….*

anyway, havn’t seen Tuesday 4 2 days oredi…..
not last night, not tonight either…..hope his ok…….
yesterdays tuition didn’t go as well as I had hope….
Ethel was still as difficult 2 get thru…..n Geraldine was sticking 2 her quiet side….
hmmmmmmm……never really knew tt e education business was so damn tough

*now he’s getting scolded 4 not learnin his spellin(I didn’t tell…why should I even bother….his mom juz decided 2 test him b4 he sleeps)……
I should feel nothing, I hav e right 2 feel nothing since he deserves it,
but…………
why I’m I feelin sympathetic towards him??? why??? sigh*

Ethel wasn’t e only being difficult yesterday,
went back 2 help with e jnrs, n my boat too was freakin hard 2 connect with
all I ask is 2 echo so tt they can coordinate, but NO……
their golden mouths r so precious tt they can’t open…..sigh!!!!!
wat did I do wrong???? why can’t I get anyone 2 do e correct things 4 their own benefit????
sigh!!!!!!!!
anyway, muz thank Lionel n Kit-Kat… I noe u guys tried as hard as I did 2 pick up e spirit of e boat even when e rest weren’t really cooperating…Thankz!!

moody..

think i'm falling sick...
hope i'm not falling sick....
having been having block nose 4 e pass few nites, in during 2days trg, i felt realli realli sick...like not my usual self. no energy in stuff....
please please.. dun fall sick...

Met Ted n his other half in JP b4 trg 2 day...
realli envy him but at e same time, i'm happy 4 him 2 hav finally found his special someone.....made me felt a little lonely on e bus 2 trg.....wonder when will it b my turn???
how sweet will it b to hav some1 special around, some1 tt can alway make u feel complete n whole, n nvr alone???
how nice 2 hav some1 4 u 2 shower with love, care n concern, n in return, 2 b loved, n cared for 2 show tt she appreciates it??
how happy will i be when i see couples on e bus or train or anyway else, i deep down, i noe i hv my specil some1 too??
sigh.....

only 1 happy thing 2 day.....
on e way home from tuition 2day, tt grey stray cat under my block finally allowed me 2 get close enough 2 him to pet him.....finally...=]
he's realli realli adorable....with those glassy eyes , he realli very CUTEEEE!!!!
anyway, though he ws like a tense n suspicios n all-ready 2 run away initially, but after while, he started bcoming realli attach 2 me...even try 2 jump on me n stuff....haha=]
think i'll call him 'Tuesday' since 2days tues....... my Tuesday=]
hope i'll see him everyday i come home=]
muz remember 2 smuggle a can of tuna e next time i go 2 work.

hmmmm... me tried now... n not realli in a good mood....
sleep time....